


Nanny Ashtoreth (Returns)

by TheDiamondTiara



Category: Good Omens (TV), Mary Poppins (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Movie: Mary Poppins Returns, Nanny Crowley (Good Omens), Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-07-19 18:23:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 22,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19978501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDiamondTiara/pseuds/TheDiamondTiara
Summary: Decades after the last time they see them, Anathema and Newt get wrapped up into another adventure, with five new ones to join in.





	1. Chapter 1

Hold on tight to those you love, and maybe soon, from up above, you'll be blessed so keep on looking high! While you're underneath the Lovely London Sky...

A certain man with gold-blonde locks winked at the window at a set of five familiar teens, before the five made an exit at the sound of a commotion from downstairs, three making their way down.

In the next house over, where it looked like the person who designed it really loved boats (they did), two best friends stood, one checking their watch and the other stuffing ammunition into a cannon as Big Ben chimed.

Sandalphon clicked his tongue.

"They've done it again!" he shouted, turning to his friend, who clapped her hands together to get the powder off of them. "Those buggers have run Big Ben too soon!"

A car shrieked to a stop, one that wasn't familiar, but the men were.

"Storm clouds on the horizon, Sir!" Uriel said in a mocking form of pirate voice, pointing at the car. "Heading straight for Cherry Tree Lane."

"Batten down the hatches, Uriel! Rough seas ahead, I fear!"

Agnes Nutter screamed, water splashing behind her as the pipes burst and she ran to the end of the stairs.

"Anathema! Newt!"

"What is it, Agnes?" Newt asked from behind her.

She pointed to the kitchen. "The bloody sink's exploded!"

"Not again!" Anathema yelled, before running into the room.

"Brian! Wensleydale! Pepper!"

"We heard, Newt!" Wensleydale said, walking down the stairs while Pepper and Brian seemed to go down them two at a time. "I'll ring the plumbers!"

"We'll turn off the water in the mains!" Pepper said, and grabbed Brian by the sleeve to pull him along.

"Yes, thank you." He turned to the older woman. "Um, Agnes, fetch us a mop and towels, will you?"

"I told her to get them pipes fixed!" Agnes yelled at his back as he swung open the kitchen door and it swung back into place. She held open the door for Pepper and Brian as Wensley dialed the number of the plumbers on the telephone. "Been 'ere since the Romans ruled," she muttered, and walked in after them.

"What's happening?" Adam asked from the end of the stairs, Dog clasped in his hands.

"Don't go in the kitchen," Wensley said. "Not without your wellies. Er, uh, yes. Hello. We've had a burst pipe." There was three knocks at the door. "Excuse me," he moved the phone down from his ear, and looked over his shoulder, "Agnes! Can you please get the door? I've got the plumbers here."

She sat a bucket down near the kitchen door, a bundle of towels in one hand and a mop in the other.

"That was quick work, wa'n't? Here, Warlock, take them," she settled the towels in her hand into Warlock's, who was standing at the end of the stairs, as Wensleydale gave them the address and the knocking continued. "Yes, i'm coming! Blimey!" She opened the door.

"Ah!" a man with fluffy white hair said, smiling crookedly at the woman. "Good morning --"

Agnes turned to Wensleydale. "'Ey don't look much like plumbers to me."

He moved the phone down to his shoulder, "I meant on the phone," then moved the phone back to his ear.

"We are not plumbers," the man said. "We are lawyers."

"Lawyers?" Agnes asked. "And here's me hopin' you might prove useful." She handed him her mop, then slammed the door in his face.

"Water's off!" Brian reported, as him and Pepper stepped into the room.

"And the plumbers are on their way!" Wensleydale stated, putting the phone down.

"Well done, everybody!" Newt said, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Such excitement."  
The banging on the door resumed again, this time from the door hanger.

"Oh, will you stop that banging?" Agnes shouted at the door, and walked back over to open it. "'S barely eight o'clock on a Sunday morning!" She opened the door. "What ye doin' with my mop?" She snatched it out of his hand.

"Uh, forgive the intrusion," a darker skinned man said behind the other. "Our current workload prevents us from taking weekend off."

She glanced at the NOTICE OF REPOSSESSION sign now nailed to the door.

"We would like to have a word with Mrs Device if she is available," the fluffy haired man said.

"'Notice of Repossession'?" Agnes asked, and the five teens glanced at each other behind her. "Wait 'ere," she sighed as Anathema swung open the door.

"God, i'll be cleaning up that mess all morning," she sighed, shrugging off her coat.

"Let me take that for you," Adam said, helping her and running off with it when she was finished.

"Oh, thank you, Adam."

"'Scuse me, ma'am," Agnes worried, coming to stand in front of her. She turned to the front door. "The wolves are at the door."

"What do they want?"

"A good thrashing if ye ask me," she glanced inside the kitchen as Newt stepped out, rubbing down his face. "Oh, it's like the River Thames in there!"

Anathema placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Agnes, i'll clean up. Why don't you see to the breakfast?"

"Well, yes," she said, "somebody's got to, haven't they? 'Less we all wanna starve." She walked into the kitchen.

"Why don't you let Agnes clean up?" Newt asked, handing her a towel.

"I'm afraid, lately, that means more work for me," she muttered back, taking the offered towel. "The other day I found a butcher's sack hanging on the coat rack, and my hat was in the larder."

Newt chuckled, and turned to the hallway mirror.

"Oh, dear," he said, combing back his hair with a hand. "I need a brush, I look a fright." He walked over to the stairs as Adam jumped in front of him, and turned back to his girlfriend. "Anathema, don't forget, you've got guests at the door."

"Oh," she said, "right." She walked up to the door, dodging by the teens as they ran by. "Sorry," she said to the two, "we're running on a bit of chaos this morning."

Agnes swung open the kitchen door, holding out her arms to prevent the five from stepping through.

"So it seems," the fluffy haired one commented. "Unfortunately, Mrs Device, our business cannot wait." He and the other man stepped inside and Anathema closed the door after them.

"'Scuse me, ma'am," Agnes interrupted, "but 'ow exactly am i s'pposed to make breakfast when there's nothing in the larder but pickled herrings and marmalade?"

"The groceries...!" Anathema pressed a hand over her soaked forehead. "I meant to go yesterday."

"Very well. Pickled herrings for breakfast and marmalade for lunch." She turned around and into the kitchen as the Them and Warlock turned to Newt.

"There's a shop across the park," Brian said, and Warlock nodded.

"Will be open soon," she agreed.

"The five of us can go," Pepper suggested.

"Thank you, Pepper," Anathema said, leaning on the mop.

Four of them went to head into the kitchen, except for Warlock, who walked up to Anathema.

"I'll take that," she said, pointing to the mop.

"Oh," Anathema said, handing it to her, "thank you." She turned to the two men. "Er, please, come through," she gestured to the main room, and the two followed her into the room, sitting at the couch. "Now, what is it that I can do for you?"

"I am Hastur La Vista-Loca, and this is my husband, Ligur La Vida Loca. We are solicitors with the law firm of Bub, Gon, Loca, and Vista."

There was a giggle from behind them, and they turned to see Newt.

"What?" he inquired.

"No, sorry, nothing."

He glanced at her paper. "'Spruce'? Is that your garden club?"

"No, no, it's the Society for the Protection of the Rights of the Underpaid Citizens of England."

Hastur and Ligur looked at each other.

"A labor organizer," Ligur said.

"Yes, but we also run soup kitchens," he stated. "It's a never ending job these days, i'm afraid."

"I'm sure it is, Mr Device," Ligur said.

"Oh," Newt blushed. "We-we're not married, yet, Sir, er --" he blushed brighter, and decided that was a good a place as any to stop.

"Forgive me," Anathema said, leaning forward on her chair, "but what brings the two of you here this morning?"

Newt whispered something to her, and they kissed before he started making his way to the door.

"Miss Device, you took out a loan with Fidelity Fiduciary Bank last year against the value of your home."

"You did what?" Newt asked, eyes wide.

"I had too, Newt," she said. "With your dad and the bills piling up, I really had no choice."

"It's hard enough these days, isn't it?" Hastur asked.

"Everything's just so...expensive now," Ligur agreed.

"Well," Hastur got back on track. "It seems you have fallen three months behind in your payments."

Anathema let out an 'oh' then hung her head, letting out a breath. She slapped her hands against the seat and looked up at them. "I'm so sorry. Er, Newt's father used to look after our finances. And i've been a bit off stride. Forgive me." She pushed herself up, and ran to the bookshelf. "Uh, how much is it that I owe you, exactly?"

Hastur sighed. "Unfortunately, the bank is now demanding that you pay back the entire loan in full."

A pause.

Anathema turned to them.

"The entire loan?"

"Yes, it's all in the contract," Ligur said.

"That's more than I make in a year! I couldn't possibly --. Oh, dear." She wrung her hands.

The two men pushed themselves up. "You have five days," Hastur said. "If you are unable to pay in full by Friday at midnight... I'm afraid we will have to repossess your home...and you will have to vacate the premises."

Newt gasped.

"But..." Anathema said, "I work for Fidelity Fiduciary."

"Not as an accountant, I presume," Ligur said.

"No, as a teller, I took a part-time position there this past year. You see, i'm really an artist."

"Yes," Hastur sighed. "Be that as it may."

"But, my father, George Pulsifer, was a senior partner there," Newt said. Anathema turned to him. "My father left us shares in the bank. You could use those to pay off the loan."

"I was saving those for the Them and Warlock."

"Shares?" Ligur said. "In the bank?" He turned to his husband. "That does change things, doesn't it?"

/"Primed and ready, Uriel?"

"Ready and charged, Sir!"/

"Do you have the share certificate?" Hastur asked.

"I'm sorry," Newt said, "the what?"

"Well," Hastur started.

"The document proving you own shares in the bank," Ligur finished.

The couple looked at each other.

"I suppose it must be somewhere among Father's old papers," Newt said.

"I suppose it must," Anathema agreed.

/"Three...

Two...

One...

Fire!"/

The whole building shook, and Hastur instantly backed up towards the fire place, putting out two arms and preventing the clock and vase atop the mantle from falling and shattering onto the ground.

Ligur fell to the ground, grabbing the lamp on top of the side table as it teetered over the edge, while Anathema instantly went to the bookshelf on the wall, one arm over the shelves to prevent the books and papers from sliding out, and the other on top of the desk to keep the loose papers steady, sticking out one foot as the tall lamp nearly fell, kicking it back into place.

"What the Hell was that?" Hastur asked as Newt came over, helping him set back the vase and clock.

"That's the 'Admiral' next door. He fires off a cannon to mark the hour.

Hastur coughed as Anathema slammed her fist onto the desk, the books and papers on the bookshelf automatically resetting themselves into their proper place.

"He's over five minutes late," Ligur said, looking at his watch.

"Yes," Anathema sighed, her and Newt standing in front of the grand piano to push it back into place, "i'm afraid he's been running a little behind these last few years."

"As are we, this morning," Hastur wheezed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a paper, handing it to Anathema. "You've been given notice. We'll see ourselves out." He turned to Ligur, who was dusting off his ratty coat. "Come along, Ligur. We hope you find that share certificate. Good day to you both."

Newt turned to Anathema when the door closed. "Why didn't you tell me you'd taken out a loan?"

She sighed. "I didn't want to worry you. Or the Them." She sat down on her chair. "I kept thinking I would catch up. Your father always managed." She sighed. "Of all the thick-headed mistakes. I can't lose our home, Newt. He's everywhere, here. You guys are the only real family I have ever had."

"Well, then we're not going to let that happen. But, you know neither of us have enough money, so we just have to find that share certificate. Do you have any idea where Father might have kept it?"

"The attic, maybe?"

Newt clapped his hands. "Yes."

"I'm sorry," she took his hand, squeezing it. "I shouldn't have brought you into this, or maybe told you of the loan before."

He crouched in front of her, taking both of her hands.

"Anathema. This is our family home, and we're about to lose it. So, please, stop pretending everything's alright. You need --"

"Are you going to lose your home?"

The two looked over at the sound of Warlock's voice, spotting five heads peaking around the corner.

"No, no, no, no, no," the two said at the same time.

"Newt was only..."

"I-I-I was just saying you won't have to worry, because my we own shares in the bank."

"But you said we don't have enough money," Pepper said.

"Well, I can make more money," Anathema said. "I'm a banker now, aren't I? That's what bankers do. Make money."

She sat at her desk, looking through a stack of papers.

"But, you're not a banker," Brian said. "You're a painter."

"Yes, well," she said, "painters don't make money. Not these days. Here, you see," she drew ten euros in the corner. "The day has hardly begun, and I have already made you ten pounds!" She held up the paper to them, and they laughed.

Pepper checked her watch. "We'd best be going."

"Yes, yes," Newt agreed. "Let's get your hats on, shall we?"

The five went to walk out, and Anathema called out for Pepper to hold up.

She stood up, reaching into her pockets to pull out the money. "Adam shouldn't have to spend his ten pounds on the shopping, should he?" She put a hand on her shoulder and sat the coins into her hand. "There you are.  
"  
"Thank you, Anathema," she said.

"Ah!" Agnes said. "Off to the park, I see."

"Yes, that's right, Agnes," Adam said, buttoning up his coat.

"That's nice."

"Shall we search the attic, then?" Newt asked, walking beside Anathema as the two walked past the other six.

"Don't you have to get to work?" she asked.

"No," he slipped off his jacket, "work can wait."

"Thank you, Newt; Why don't I check the attic, and you check your father's old wardrobe?"

"Yes!"

"We'll make lunch when we get home, Agnes," Wensleydale said as he opened up the door for the others.

Pepper grabbed the stuffed dog from Adam, and passed it to Agnes.

"Dog stays here," Pepper said, and Adam 'aww'ed but didn't protest any more.

Agnes stared after them and sighed.  
"Blimey what little grown-ups you've become."  
She closed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"Anathema didn't give us enough money, did she?" Wensleydale asked as they walked through the park.

"Not nearly," Pepper sighed.

"Well, we can ask for day-old bread at half off," Brian conceded. "That's what my parents do."

Warlock and Adam ran up the stairs of a small platform, and jumped down in front of a lady and her dog.

"Hello, Miss Lark!" Warlock greeted cheerily.

"Hello, Warlock." She nodded to the other four. "Adam, Pepper, Brian, Wensleydale."

Adam and Warlock kneeled down beside the dog.

"Good boy, Willoughby."

"Come on, you two," Wensleydale said, grabbing them by the arm, "we haven't enough time for this."

Adam pouted, but they went on as Miss Lark walked away with the animal.

Warlock looked over and let out a gasp of delight, skipping over the metal pegs blocking the grass entrance.

"The balloon lady! Can we get balloons?"

"No!" the others yelled back.

"We haven't enough for groceries as it is," Pepper said.

"Oi!" A voice said to Warlock's right. "Warlock Dowling!" She looked up at the man. "Keep off the grass. I don't spend all day carin' for it just to see my work get trampled on. Go on, off it!"

"Sorry," Adam apologized, and the man waved him off, the gesture lacking rudeness.

"What if Anathema does lose the house?" Brian asked.

"We'll just have to figure out a way to get it back, I suppose."

"You're right," Adam said. "That's what George would do."

·~·

Anathema looked through the box in front of her, shaking her head when she didn't find the certificate.

She moved over towards the chair, grabbing the box on top of it and looking through it, grunting and moving it behind her when she didn't see it.

She grabbed the mesh basket, placing it on the table and search through it, until she came across a small box, delicately taking it out and setting it in her lap, thumbing open the lid.

Instrumental music came from it, and she stared at the pastel pearls settled in the box. 

She picked them up, running a thumb over the pearls in her palm, then wound it around her knuckles.

"We haven't spoken in so long, dear," she whispered, looking to the wall.

\"This year's gone by in a blur  
Today, seems everything's gone wrong here  
I'm looking for the way things were."\

She licked her lips.

\"I know you'd laugh and call me tragic  
For everything's in disarray  
These rooms were always full of magic  
That's vanished...  
Since you went away."\

She pushed herself off the table, looking at the boxes.

\"This house is crowded now with questions  
Brian's a walking questionnaire  
And I could surely use a few suggestions  
Oh how to brush Warlock's hair  
When Adam needed explanations  
You always knew just what to say  
And I miss our family conversations   
It's silent...  
Since you went away."\

She bit her lip, and looked out the window.

\"Winter has gone  
But not from this room  
Snow's left the lane   
But the cherry trees forgot to bloom."\

She turned around with a sigh.

"The certificate," she muttered. She unclasped a box and looked at the papers. "The certificate," she cleared her throat.

\"I'll carry on the way you told me  
I say that like I have a choice  
And though you are not here to hold me  
In the echoes I can hear your voice  
But still one question fills my day, Dear  
The answer i've most longed to know   
Each moment since you went away, Dear  
My question, George, is...  
Where'd you go?"\

She placed the pearls into the box, staring at it.

"Nothing in the wardrobe!" Newt's voice came from downstairs, and Anathema snapped the box shut. His head peaked through the space. "Oh..my goodness."

His eyes raked the room, looking at the boxes and toys and everything and anything else in the room.

"Yes, it is quite a mess," Anathema said.

"Yes, it is," Newt agreed. He looked at a area to the right of her. "What are all your art things doing up here?"

"Oh," she said, "I wasn't using them anymore."

Newt flipped through a few pages, and Anathema grabbed them out of his hand.

"Should probably just get rid of it all." She stuffed it into a discarded box and Newt bit his lip.

"Have you looked in Father's old desk?" he asked.

"I honestly can't remember why we kept most of this stuff to begin with," Anathema said instead, eyeing a snow globe in her hand. She looked up and instantly zoned in on the object. "I mean, why on Earth did we save this old broken thing?"

She picked up a green kite, torn in different places and perfect in others. She tried to stuff it into a box, but Newt's eyes lit up and grabbed it.

"Don't you remember that kite?" He held it up, looking it over. "We used to love flying this with Mother and Father."

"Well, it won't fly anymore," she said, and stuffed it in the box. "Out it goes." She picked up the box and went down the stairs. "No looking back!"

She took the box and sat it outside, and walked back in to keep exploring for the certificate.

After she had shut the door, a wind, from seemingly out of nowhere, picked up, and the kite, after a moment, fluttered out, hitting the gate to the house, and flying over the lamppost, then onto the curve, and onto the ground, like a yoyo, hitting the side of a car as it did, then flew over the trees, and nearly right in front of a certain golden-blonde haired and blue eyed man on a bike, the blue getting larger in delight as he followed it into the park.

It flew over a stone wall, and a dog noticed it, running and barking after it, it stopping at the fountain then flying straight over it.

"Willoughby!" it's owner said, as he ran over to watch the kite fly to far and high for it to reach, instead choosing to bark after it. "Naughty boy. Hush." He whimpered.

The kite continued its trek, hitting a man in the back of the head and nearly knocking off his cap, but he righted it and continued to read from his newspaper without acknowledging it.

"How long do you think it will take us today?" Brian asked deeper in the park.

"Well, let's see," Wensley started. "It's a nine-minute walk to the shop. So if it takes ten minutes...to purchase each item..."

Warlock giggled behind them, and a crinkle of paper was heard.

Something just seemed to call out to her about it...

She ran in the grass in pursuit of it, the Them not noticing, to preoccupied in their conversation.

Until --

"Excuse me, children, coming through!" a familiar voice shouted, and the four moved to the side as he peddled along the path, and instantly spotted Warlock across the way.

"Warlock, come back!" Adam yelled, and the four skipped over the barrier and onto the grass.

"Hey, you four!" The Them stopped and looked over at the man. "I've told you before: off the grass!"

"But our friend --"

"You heard me! Now!"

They skipped over the pegs, and ran on the cobblestone path after the bicycler.

Meanwhile, Warlock was keeping up with the kite, ducking underneath a bush wall to follow, and gasped when she spotted it on the other side, leaning against a potted plant.

She ran up to it, pulling at the handle attached at the back and threw the kite back into the air, and it flew, high above her, so far and so fast she had to start unwinding the wood. She held onto it tight as the wind picked up brutally, and fell to the ground, getting carried along with it.

"Help!" she screamed.

"We're coming, Warlock!" Wensleydale shouted, then hopped over the pegs and into the shrub.  
Aziraphale rounded the corner as Warlock got lifted off the ground.

"Hold on, Dear!" he shouted, and ran over towards her, hugging his arms around her middle and pulling her back down onto the ground, then grabbed hold of the kite's string.

It flew up into the clouds, so far that they couldn't see it anymore.

He pulled on the string.

The outline of a person appeared in the clouds as they parted, seemingly making way for them.

"As I live and breathe!" Aziraphale gasped, still pulling on the line, until the person was right in front of him.

They could instantly tell it was a woman, not by her attire, but they could just...tell it.

She wore a black skirt that came all the way down to her ankles, kitten heels meeting them and making her inches taller than she already was. She had on a black shirt tucked into the skirt, and a black jacket following black gloves. A red necktie was tied around her neck, and she held a handbag and a parrot umbrella in one hand, the end of the kite in the other, and a black hat atop her head, red curls tied up into a bun underneath. She also had on lipstick, but the thing that caught everyone's attention would have to be the black sunglasses she wore.

She dropped the kite to the ground.

"You need to be more careful when the wind rises, Warlock," she said, "you nearly lost your kite." She turned to the Them as they turned up underneath the bush. "And you four nearly lost your Warlock. She might have got away completely had I not been holding on to the other end of the string. She --"

She looked at the four. "Someone...what have you lot done to your clothes?" She eyed the mud they were caked in. "You could grow a garden in that much soil. Brian and Wensleydale look as if they've been through a underground war," the two crossed their arms, "and Adam and Pepper...yes, just as bad." The other two did the same.

"How do you know our names?" Adam asked.

"Because she's Nanny Ashtoreth, of course," he turned to her. "You're going by that today, right, Dear? And, may I say, you look lovely, as always."

Ashtoreth looked over her shoulder at him with a serpentine like smirk.

"Do you really think so? Nice to see you, angel."

"And it is good to see you, too, Crowley my Dear." He turned to Warlock, and handed her the kite. "Here you go, Dear, as good as you found it!"

"How's that book shop of yours? Haven't been around it in a bit."

"It's great, my Dear! Maybe you could come by again, some other time."

"Well," she said, looking at the kids, "for now, I am off to speak with the current caretakers of these children. These five are clearly in desperate need of a nanny."

The Them gaped at each other.

She turned to them.

"Now, quick march and best foot forward, and i'll think you not to dawdle."

She walked ahead, spinning the umbrella in her hand and Warlock following her.

Aziraphale watched her with what could be accurately described as a lovestruck gaze. Or, until he noticed the Them, and nodded ahead.

"Go on!"

Pepper sighed, but walked after the two.


	3. Chapter 3

"Anathema!" Warlock called into the flat, running to the edge of the stairs. "Newt! Come quick! Quickly!"

"What is it, Warlock?" Anathema asked worriedly, stack of papers in hand, racing to the stairs with Newt hot on her heals.

"Has something happened?" Newt asked.

"I was flying a kite and it got caught on a nanny!"

Silence.

"Whatever are you talking about?" Newt asked.

"Come!" she encouraged. "Come, look!"

"Wait -- where'd you get that kite?" Anathema asked.

"I found it in the park!"

She grabbed the handle of the door, revealing a woman at the threshold.

"She kept it from blowing away."

Anathema dropped the papers.

"Nanny," Anathema gasped.

"Ashtoreth," Newt breathed.

"Oh, close your mouth, please, Anathema," Ashtoreth ordered. "We are still not a codfish."

Newt giggled and Anathema snapped her mouth shut.

"Newt Pulsifer, still rather inclined to giggle, I see."

She looked the two up and down, then walked into the flat, setting her handbag down on the seat by the stairs.

"Good heavens," Newt breathed, "it really is you. You seem hardly to have aged at all."

Nanny Ashtoreth whipped around, eyes wide.  
"Really!" she hissed. "How incredibly rude. One never discusses a woman's age, Newt. I would have hoped I taught you better."

She turned to the mirror.

"I'm sorry!" he apologized. "I didn't mean..."

"You came back," Anathema breathed. She shook her head. "I thought we'd never see you again."

"It is wonderful to see you."

Ashtoreth patted her hair, looking in the mirror.  
"Yes it is, isn't it?" she asked.

She walked away from the mirror, but the image of her in it remained, watching her as she walked away, and you could see the hint of golden-orange serpentine-like eyes over the edge of the glasses.

"So, you know her, then?" Pepper asked.

"Nanny Ashtoreth used to be our nanny," Anathema said.

"What brings you here after all this time?" Newt asked.

"The same thing that brought me here last time," she said, and ran two gloved fingers over the table, the fingers coming away with a portion of dust, "i've come to look after the children."

"Us?" Adam asked, incredulous.

"Oh, yes. You, too."

"But we don't need a nanny," Brian said. "Our parents taught us to look after ourselves."

"You did just misplace Warlock," Ashtoreth, "I might point out."

"Only slightly," Wensley said. "We got her back."

"We can do anything a nanny can," Pepper said.

"Nanny Ashtoreth flew here on a kite," Warlock said.

"You can't do that, can you?" Adam asked.

"What are you talking about, Warlock?" Anathema said. "Don't be silly."

"Oh, let her believe what she likes," Newt said. "When Anathema and I were young, about your age, we used to imagine that Nanny Ashtoreth could do all sorts of impossible things."

"Actually," the umbrella started, and Ashtoreth put her hand over its beak.

"'Actually' what?" Newt asked.

"Actually, i'd like to get back to the matter of my employment."

"Your umbrella talks!" Warlock said.

"Warlock, please," Anathema said, "we're in the midst of a ground up conversation."

"Why don't we go upstairs, Warlock?" Adam asked.

"But it did talk!" she said as Adam grabbed her hand and started pulling her to the stairs. "I promise!"

"I'm afraid sometimes Warlock suffers from excessive imagination," Anathema said.

"As I recall," she drawled, "you had the same affliction yourself when you were young."

"Did I, really? Well, those days are long behind me."

"Are they indeed?" She waited a moment, then hummed, stepping into the front room. "Now, about my employment."

"Yes, about your employment. The truth is, I simply can't afford --"

"We can settle on terms later, although I will want my old room back. That's if it's not a complete disaster...and I will insist on having every second Tuesday off."

"No, i'm afraid I --"

"Of course, Nanny Ashtoreth!"

Anathema looked at Newt.

"Good, good, that's all settled," she patted her hair in the mirror, then whipped around to them. "Then i'll stay. Now, if you'll excuse me...the children have turned themselves into dustbins." She started removing her gloves. "So, the first order of business is to see them properly bathed, and dress."

Anathema grabbed Newt's arm and dragged him into the other room.

"Newt, have you gone completely mad?" she whispered. "I can't afford to take on anyone else."

"Nanny Ashtoreth isn't just anyone! Don't you see, Anathema? No one's hiring nannies anymore. The poor woman has nowhere to go!"

"Well, neither will we by the end of the week!"

"Oh, you sound just like Father."

"I do not."

"Then give Nanny Ashtoreth a try, 'cause you need help just as much as she does!"

"Very well, she can stay, for the time being, I suppose. After all she did fly all this way on a kite."

The two sat down and glanced at each other, then burst out laughing.

"Those things, when we were younger," Newt said, "they didn't really..."

"Happen?"

"No."

Behind them, Nanny Ashtoreth sat on the railing and slid up it.

"Oh, hello, Nanny Ashtoreth," Agnes said, basket of clothes in hand.

"Hello, Agnes," she greeted back.

She stood up at the first peg, and held out her hands expectantly, her handbag and umbrella flying into them instantly.

"How'd you do that?" Warlock asked, standing at the door, mouth agape.

"Do what?"

She leaned over the railing, "And why didn't Anathema believe you flew here on a kite?"

"Because it's complete nonsense, of course."

"Grown-ups forget," the umbrella sighed. "They always do."

"That will be quite enough of that. I should have left you in the umbrella stand."

The umbrella gasped. "Not with the canes!"

Ashtoreth groaned and Warlock chuckled.

"What are you four whispering about?" she asked, setting her umbrella and handbag at the table.

"Nothing!" the Them chorused.

"'Nothing'. What a useful word, isn't it? It can mean everything and anything."

"It's just that --" Adam started.

"You don't require the services of a nanny."

"Well, we have grown up a good deal in the past year, after all," Brian said.

Ashtoreth gave them a look.

"Yes..." she said. "Well, we'll have to see what can be done about that."

She walked over to the ceramic bowl with a beautiful scene painted on it, and twisted it to the middle.

"That was George's, be careful - !" Wensleydale said.

"I'm always careful," she said.

"So, you're staying?" Brain asked.

"Yes, i'll stay. Until the door opens."

"What does that mean?"

They glanced at the glass door to their room.  
"That door's always opening while we're here."

"Oh, not that door," she said, shrugging off her coat, "another one."

Warlock glanced to the side. "The bathroom door."

Adam laughed. "That's just silly, Warlock."

Nanny Ashtoreth didn't speak.

"...Not the bathroom door?" Pepper confirmed.

"No," she said from the closet. "But a bath would prove useful. Come along. Time for a good, clean start."


	4. Chapter 4

"Our parents always had us take our baths in the evening," Pepper said, as they all stood in their undergarments.

"Well in my experience, Pepper," Ashtoreth said, sitting on the rim of the huge tub that Anathema and Newt owned to check the temperature of the water, "the perfect time of day to have a bath is when one needs a wash. Warlock, you will go first."

Warlock went to step up, but Wensleydale grabbed hold of her shoulder, pulling her back.

"We are perfectly capable of drawing our own baths," he said.

"How very helpful, Wensleydale," she said from the closet. "In that case, you may turn off the tap. But, not quite yet," Wensleydale withdrew his hand, "still need to put in the bubbles."

"But I don't like soap bubbles."

"Well, then, you shall have to try to /avoid/ them at all costs."

They watched her sashay out of the room.

"She's a tough nut, isn't she?" Brian asked.

Pepper sighed. "All right then, but we'll have to get this done quickly!"

"Right. We still have to get down to the grocers..."

"And it looks as though it might rain," Adam said.

"I know who you should ask," Warlock said, and Wensleydale sighed in exasperation.

"Her umbrella can't talk, Warlock," Pepper said.

"The very idea," Ashtoreth said, coming back in with her handbag.

"How do you know it can't?" Warlock asked them.

"Because it can't," Brian hissed.

"The very notion is ridiculous," Wensleydale said.

"Exactly right, Wensleydale, it's nonsense," Ashtoreth agreed. "Foolishness."

"It makes no sense," Brian said. "And if it makes no sense, it can't be true."

Ashtoreth turned around, bottle of pink bubbles in hand.

\"Brian, you're right  
It's good to know you're bright  
For intellect can wash away confusion  
Warlock sees  
And these three agree  
Most folderol's an optical illusion  
You five know it's true  
That one plus one is two  
Yes, logic is the rock of our foundation."\

She sat on the rim of the tub.

\"I suspect, and i'm never incorrect  
That you're far too old to give in to imagination."\

She unclasped the bottle then poured the bubbles into the bath, then reclasped it and set it on the back.

She reached over to turn off the taps, and a dolphin's head appeared in the water, clicking at her.

"No, not yet," she told it, and it went back into the water as Warlock and Adam looked over the edge of the tub.

\"Some people like to splash and play  
Can you imagine that?  
And take a seaside holiday --"\

She pulled out a bucket and shovel, and threw it into the water.

\"Can you imagine that?  
Too much glee leaves rings around the brain  
Take that joy and --"\

She took out a rubber duck and threw it over her shoulder and into the tub.

\"-- send it down the drain  
Some people like to laugh at life and giggle through the day  
They think the world's a brand-new, shiny toy."\

She pulled out a modeled boat, acting like she was sailing it as she pushed it into the water.

\"And if while dreaming in the clouds, they fall and go kersplat!"\

She reached into the pockets of her apron, and sprinkled golden coins into the water.

\"Although they're down and bent in half  
They brush right off and start to laugh!  
Can you imagine that?"\

She pulled an umbrella out of the sink and slid it into the bathtub.

"On second thoughts, perhaps you're right," Ashtoreth said. "It makes no sense to take a bath this early."

She reached down as if to pull the drain, but Warlock grabbed her hand.

"Wait! I want to take a bath!"

She looked at her.

"Oh, really?" Warlock nodded eagerly. "Very well, then."

She grabbed her hand and led her to the end of the tub, then picked her up. "Up you go," she slid her into the tub, and she disappeared within the bubbles, "and in you go!"

"Whoa," echoed in the tub.

"Warlock!" Adam and Wensleydale gasped, moving the suds around to look for their friend. They slid in right after her, their voices echoing her name.

"Wensley! Adam!" Pepper and Brian chorused, moving the suds around to look for them.

Brian looked up. "What happened, will they be alright?"

"Well, it is just a bath, after all," Ashtoreth said. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. "Then again, it's not my tub."

"Shouldn't you go in after them?" Brian asked.

"Oh, no, I had my bath this morning, thank you."

"Well, if you won't," Pepper said, grabbing Brian by the arm. "We will!"

They slid into the tub.

Ashtoreth glanced back with a smirk.

She walked over to the tub, brushing some bubbles off the rim before taking a seat.

"Off we go," she whispered, before leaning back and disappearing in the suds herself.

She swam down to the five, now all decked in bathing suits like her own as the giant rubber duck floated near.

\"Some people like to dive right in  
Can you imagine that?  
And flap about in bathtub gin  
Can you imagine that?  
Doggies paddling twenty leagues below."\

She glanced at Willoughby and Miss Lark as they swam by, waving at them.

\"Might seem real, but we know it's not so."\

She winked at Pepper, and swam deeper in, by the pirate ship where Agnes stood in a kitchen.

\"To cook without a recipe  
Can you imagine that?  
And Hell knows what lives within that pot!"\

Agnes slammed the lid back on the pot in question.

\"Some pirates follow treasure maps  
And wear a silly hat  
They search the world for buried gold  
They won't grow up, and don't grow old!  
Can you imagine that?"\

Warlock swam into the seagrass, where a man stood, pointing to the PLEASE KEEP OFF THE SEAGRASS sign.

She gave an apologetic smile, swimming back.

Ashtoreth looked to her sides, gathering five different colored sponges in her arms.  
She swam up and towards the surface, meeting the children in the middle and tossing the sponges, the items landing in their hands.

"Be sure to scrub behind your ears!" she reminded, then swam to the surface.

The five looked to a darkened area, where horde of dolphins came closer to them, then swam around them, forming bubbles around their bodies and making them fly up to the surface, where Ashtoreth was, sitting with the umbrella.

She reached up with the point of it, and popped them, one by one, and they landed softly into the tub.

She opened the umbrella, and put it over her shoulder.

\"Some answer when adventure calls!  
Can you imagine that?  
And sail straight over waterfalls!  
Can you imagine that?"\

Ashtoreth handed the opened umbrella to Wensleydale, who put it in front of them, picking up wind.

\"They see living as its own reward."\

Sandalphon and Uriel saluted them from their own boat. "Ahoy!"

\"They rock the boat, then --"\

Wensleydale landed in the water.

"Man overboard!"

\"Some people look out on the sea and see a brand-new day!"\

She helped the others pull Wensleydale back in, now covered in suds.

\"Their spirits lift them high above the blue  
Yet others wear an anchor  
And they sink in seconds flat  
So...  
Perhaps we've learned when day is done, some stuff and nonsense could be fun!"\

She reached into the water, and splashed them with it. She crossed her arms in a motion, and the dolphins erupted over them in an arch.

\"Can you imagine that?"\

Ashtoreth reached down to the drain, and pulled, and they all disappeared in a whirlpool.

Ashtoreth reached down into the near empty drain as the Them and Warlock now stood, towels wrapped around them as she threw the rubber duck into her handbag and snapped it shut.


	5. Chapter 5

"No."

Anathema threw a book behind her as she looked through the shelves.

"No."

She threw another.

"No." She turned to Newt. "Anything?"

"No," he sighed, holding up a stack of papers, "nothing. Just your old drawings, and bills, and nothing else."

"Well," she stepped down from the step-stool. "That's it, then, it's not here."

"Anathema, Newt!"

They looked over at the door and five heads appeared, and they all started talking at once.  
She heard something about a boat, everything she could ever dream of, and someone falling off a boat, and she held up a hand.

"Not now, please," she pleaded.

"But it really happened!" Wensleydale said. "Tell her, Nanny Ashtoreth!"

"I have no idea what you're all talking about," she said.

"We swam through a pirate ship!" Adam said.

"Enough, please!" Anathema commanded.

The kids tensed up in a line.

"You're right, Anathema," Pepper said.

"We're sorry," Brian said, and the five went to leave the room when Anathema sighed.

"No, i'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cross with all of you, I... I've just lost something very important."

"Yes," Newt said, pushing himself up. "And we're going to find it. I'm sure George just tucked it away somewhere for safekeeping." 

He whipped around to his girlfriend. "The bank! He had a safety deposit in the bank!"

"He did."

"Well, let's go."

"It's closed."

Newt turned to her from the doorway. "We'll go first thing in the morning."

"But, won't we need a key?"

"There's a whole drawer full of keys in Father's old desk upstairs."

"Is there?"

"Yes!"

They disappeared up the stairs.

"Someone, gracious, glory me," Ashtoreth rolled her eyes. She walked over to the pile of books and papers littered around. "You'd think by now they'd have learned to pick up after themselves." She picked up a paper from the table and dropped it into the box, and the rest of the papers followed suit, floating off the ground and landing in the box. She eyed the one at the top.

The teen's all peered into the box.

"Cleaning is not a spectator sport, i'll remind you. You four," she pointed to the Them, "put all the books back on the bookshelves." She looked up. "Warlock Dowling, come back here." She leaned down and picked up the box. "Take out this rubbish, would you?"

She grabbed the box. "Yes, Nanny Ashtoreth."

"There's a good girl."

She carried the box through the kitchen, then sat it down, looking at the picture at the top, drawn onto it -- it was Anathema and Newt in front of the house they were in now. In front of them were Warlock, Pepper, Adam, Brian, and Wensleydale, and all of them were smiling.

She smiled at the picture and folded it up into tiny squares, then stuffed it into her dress pocket, then picked up the box.

The next day, Anathema and Newt were sat in the bank, shuffling through a box of papers and other assortments.

Anathema sighed. "Oh, well," she said, setting the papers back in the box. "That's that." She snapped the box shut and balled up her fist, leaning her cheek onto it.

"What about Miss King?" Newt asked. "Couldn't she give you more time?"

"Yes, i'm sure she would, if she were still here… but her son, Luci, has been running things lately. I don't think he even knows who I am…"

She looked to her right, and picked up the box, passing it off to a clerk with a thank you.

"Well," Newt said, grabbing his bag, "it's high time he found out, don't you think?"

He made his way to the door, and Anathema hurriedly grabbed her bag, following after him.

"Newt!" she called out to him, racing after him up the stairs, passing greetings to others that called out her name. 

She rounded the corner and caught up to him.

"Newt, we can't just charge into his office --"

He rounded through open double doors and to the secretary.

"Hello," he said, "Miss Dagon, is it? I didn't know you still worked here. I remember that big jar of sweets that you always had on the desk that we used to raid."

"I remember that jar," a voice said to their left, and they looked to see a man standing at the now open door. "Those little toffees that stuck your teeth together." He stepped out of the doorway. "We must get you another one of those jars, Dagon."

"Of course," Dagon said, "i'll bring it up with Beelzebub."

The man, "Luci," looked back at them. "This wouldn't happen to be your boyfriend, would it, Miss Device?"

"Yes," he held out his hand. "Newton Pulsifer. How do you do?"

"Great pleasure to meet you. Lucifer King." He stepped out of the way and made a sweeping hand motion to his office. "Do, step this way."

They walked in and he closed the door behind them.

Dagon rolled her eyes with a huff, and turned back to her desk.

"If I had known that George Pulsifer's practical daughter-in-law had taken a loan with us, I would have handled the paperwork myself. Unfortunately, regarding an extension, there's very little I can do at this point."

Anathema sighed but nodded. "I see. His father did leave us shares in the bank."

"Oh, well, that is good news!"

"Yes, yes it is," Newt said. "But, the trouble is, we can't seem to find the share certificate. You wouldn't happen to have any record of Father's shares, would you?"

"I would think so." He reached over to his phone, and pressed a button before lifting it to his ear. "Bring in the shareholder's ledger, would you, Beelzebub?"

There must have been an affirmative on the other end, as he smiled then sat the phone back onto its port.

"And what about your mother, Miss King?" Newt asked. "She'd know if Father received shares, wouldn't she?"

Lucifer sighed and pushed himself off of his desk, where he had previously been sitting.

"I'm afraid dear old Mother is getting on in years." He stood in front of a portrait of a woman. 

The door opened as he sat down at his desk.

"Which is, sadly, why I had to take over for her." Someone with raven hair walked over to the desk and sat a thick book on top of it. "Thank you, Beelzebub." They nodded and walked out, and he looked at the two. "Let's see." He flipped open the book, and Newt and Anathema leaned forward.

He mouthed along to the names, then paused with a hum.

"Doesn't seem to be a listing for George Pulsifer here…" He looked up at their defeated faces. "Don't despair." He pushed the book forward and stood up. "You still have until," he pointed outside, where one Big Ben stood, "/that/ big fellow out there chimes his last on Friday night to find that certificate. And i'll keep looking here as well."

Anathema rubbed a hand over her forehead as Newt stood up.

"Yes," Newt said, "well, thank you so very much, Mr King. It's really been a great pleasure."

"Yes, it's very kind of you," Anathema said, standing up.

"Not at all," Lucifer responded.

He watched as the two disappeared behind the double doors, then reached for the phone on his desk.

"Bring in all of George Pulsifer's old files, wouldja?"

/"Of courze,"/ Beelzebub's voice said, and he hung up the phone.

He walked around his desk, swinging his pocket watch.

He sat down and looked at the name that was clearly written on paper; George Pulsifer.

He tore out the paper, glanced over, where fire seemed to just appear, and tossed the paper in.


	6. Chapter 6

Across town, Warlock jumped up and down on her current bed, the bedsprings creaking with every movement.

Ashtoreth stepped in, and paused when she saw her.

"Warlock, this is a bedroom, let me remind you, not a music hall."

"Can we have another bath?" she asked excitedly landing on her knees and grabbing the railing of her bed with both hands.

"Oh, pish posh."

She looked at Brian, who was talking with Adam and Pepper on the floor.

"Brian, you'd best go downstairs and help Agnes --" There was a loud clatter from deeper in the flat, followed by a shout "-- with the dishes."

Brian stood up with a "Yes, Nanny," then disappeared around the corner of the door.

"I can put those away myself," Wensleydale said as he entered the room, the towels in Ashtoreth's hands being relocated into his.

"Very well, then," she said. She turned around. "Now, Warlock Dowling, if you were hoping that I will let you take this sadly neglected kite to the park tomorrow, you'd better start patching it up this instant."

Warlock grabbed the green kite. "Yes, Nanny."

She looked where Adam and Pepper were still whispering on the floor, and sweeped her eyes around the room.

"And, you two," she looked at them, and they looked up. "I suggest you clear up this clatter around the room. This is not a pigpen."

"Yes, Nanny Ashtoreth," they chorused, then got to work.

"Let me help you with those," Brian said, running up to Agnes.

"You're a good lad," Agnes said, stepping off the stepladder, eyeing the glass that now lay on the floor. "You're such a help, you are. I only wish I could help Anathema and Newt save this poor old house." 

She picked up a stack of glass bowls, passing them off to Brian.

"I could sell my broach and necklace, I suppose. Matching set, my old Grandmum gave 'em to me."

She passed him a plate, and he looked up at her.

"You'd do that for them?"

He reached for the plate, and she pressed it to her chest.

"What?" she asked in a scandalous tone. "Sell my prized possessions?"

"Oh, no," he corrected quickly. "I didn't mean it like that!"

"Oh, it's alright." She passed him the plate. "I think they're fakes, anyway. No, plenty more in this house worth more 'an 'em old trinkets."

She handed him a gravy bowl, and a light bulb went off in his head.

He pressed the bowl to her chest.

"If you'll excuse me, Agnes."

He shot out of the room.

"What's got into 'im?" Agnes muttered.

He ran up the stairs, scanning his eyes around the room, where he saw Warlock cutting up a paper and Wensleydale sitting, putting up the towels.

He landed on his knees beside him, panting.

"I know how to save the house!" he whisper shouted, and Wensleydale whipped around towards him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"If you two are going to keep up all this whispering…" Ashtoreth drawled, appearing behind them, "i'd like you to practice doing so as loudly as possible. It will still be bad manners, but at least then we'll all be in on the secret."

She walked over to the glass doors, opening them up wide.

"Oh, hello, Aziraphale!" 

"Nanny Ashtoreth!" the man responded in kind, where he poised on a ladder, turning on a porch light. "How are you, this fine evening?"

"I'm settling in quite nicely, thank you."

He climbed up the ladder.

"I remember this place." He pushed himself up onto the wide door frame. "Newton Pulsifer and Anathema Device. They do still live here," he leaped across to the patio, coming face-to-face with Ashtoreth, "correct?"

"Ah, yes, they do." She crossed her arms. "It belongs to Anathema, now."

"Ah, I remember George Pulsifer. It's been ages since i've seen the children."

"According to them, they aren't children any more."

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes and tsked.

"I'm sure you'll bump into them one of these days."

She gave him a serpentine like smile, one he returned with a charming one of his own.

"It's a good thing you came along when you did, Crowley…"

There was the sound of glass breaking.

"...That didn't sound good, now, did it?"

She tilted her head back, into the room but not quite looking in yet. "What are you up to?" 

No one responded, and she came into the room to pick up the "missing" piece.

She held it up with two fingers.

"Which of you broke the bowl?"

Five heads looked up at her from around the room.

Brian and Wensleydale pointed to Warlock.

"Warlock did!"

"I did not!" She pointed to Adam. "It was Adam!"

"No, I didn't! If Bri hadn't taken it --"

They all tried to speak over each other, and Ashtoreth rolled her eyes behind her glasses.

/"Actually, it was all of them,"/ a Scottish voice said.

Ashtoreth hummed.

Brian's head slowly turned. "Who said that?"

Ashtoreth stepped over them, and walked to the bowl, where it had originally been.

"Oh, dear," Aziraphale said, looking at the bowl.

Where someone had once sat, in a red carriage, now stood, one of the wheels laying on the painted ground by the vehicle, the albino horse glancing over its own shoulder at the new scene.

"The picture's changed," Adam gasped.

"It looks as though they've broken your carriage wheel," Ashtoreth said.

/"That, they have!"/ a Irish voice said. /"It's useless now!"/ 

/"Useless as a chocolate teapot!"/ the Scottish voice agreed.

Pepper shook her head in disbelief. "The bowl is speaking!"

/"And who do we think is gonna fix that?"/ the Irish voice asked.

"There's the riddle," Aziraphale said. "Thier what broke it. Them what fixes it. That's what I say. What do you think, Nanny Ashtoreth?"

"Well, I suppose we have no choice," she said.

"But how are we going to do /that/?" Wensleydale asked, turning to her.

"I know a bit about fixing carriages," Aziraphale commented.

"But we can't fix the carriage wheel," Brian stated. "It isn't possible."

Ashtoreth looked at her. "/Everything/ is possible. Even the impossible."

She smirked, then grabbed the bowl, placing it onto a table and pressing the piece back in place.

"Gather 'round everyone! Adam, don't forget Dog."

The teen reached down to his bed, and grabbed the doll, hugging him tight.

"Are we ready?"

She looked at Aziraphale.

"Ready," he stated.

She reached down and spun the bowl.

Wind came from nowhere, knocking the doors to and fro. The blue petals on the bowl began to glow a brighter color, until they erupted from the bowl, coming to life in an animation as they circled around the seven, until they were not there anymore.

Well, if one were to look closely…

There were eight new figures on the bowl.


	7. Chapter 7

The blue flowers began to disperse, revealing the painted scene around them.

They all dawned new outfits -- except for Aziraphel, who's outfit that looked as if from an 1800s novel remained the same. Warlock wore a dress that went down to her ankles, the silk feel of the dress running smoothly across the china, while Adam, Pepper, Brian, and Wensleydale wore a type of suit, in different colors and different styles -- Pepper's was a dark red, her undershirt being a button-up and boots that would help her slide; Adam had a blue suit, and the wrists could be unbuttoned and rolled up; Wensleydale and Brian were in a near matching set, both of them black and what would be a traditional suit. They all wore a hat, Warlock messing with hers as it tried to fall over her eyes.

Ashtoreth was the one that changed the most, as she now wore tight black trousers, snakeskin boots, a silver necktie, and a leather jacket. Her -- /his/ glasses remained in place, though.

He looked at Aziraphale, who gave him a dazzling smile.

"What just happened?" Brian asked, in awe as he turned on his heel and nearly fell.

"Where are we?" Pepper asked joyously.

Aziraphale lifted a hand to one of the leaves on the trees', which made a clanking sound as he tapped his finger on it.

"Looks as if we're in chine, so to speaks he saih, readjusting his coat.

"Over here, everyone," Crowley said, an umbrella in hand. "This wheel won't fix itself. Tread lightly, this is fine porcelain, and we don't want to chip the glaze."

He slid down the hill, Aziraphale right after.

The Them and Warlock slid right after, though not as they should.

"Oh, Warlock," Crowley said, looking at the teen as she pushed herself off the china, "chin up, and feet beneath you. You, too, Brian."

Aziraphale helped pull them back to their feet, and they all walked after him.

"Excuse me, driver," he said, to the carriage driver, whose head was searching inside the carriage for something, "would you help us?"

The driver turned to him, and he beamed -- well, as much as a dog could.

"Well, Nanny Ashtoreth!" he exclaimed, holding his hands to his chest. "Is it yourself?"

The five stood behind Aziraphale and Crowley, gaping.

"But -- but he's…"

"But you're…"

"That's right," he said. "I'm Irish." He lifted up his hat, revealing a tuft of curly hair at the top. "I'm also part poodle!" He barked.

"How wonderful to see you, Legion," Crowley said. "I'm so sorry about all this. Would you help Aziraphale lift the carriage while the children put the wheel back on?"

He stepped over the crack in the glass.

"With pleasure!" Legion exclaimed, adjusting his overcoat.

"He's talking to a /dog/!" Warlock exclaimed.

"Well, of course Crolwey can talk," the horse -- Jim -- chuffed.

"Take your places, everyone!" Crowley clapped his hands, and the five jumped over the chip in the porcelain.

Aziraphale and Legion lifted up the carriage, as Adam, Warlock, and Pepper lifted the wheel, Brian adjusted it to fit in place, and Wensleydale tied Crowley's necktie into place.

"There we are!" Crowley cheered. "Shipshape."

"Not a bad job at all!" Legion called, from where he now sat back at the front of his carriage.

"Suppose it'll have to do," Jim tilted his head.

"And back to the bedroom we go!" Crowley said, picking up his umbrella from the ground.

"Back already?" Adam whined.

"Can't we stay in this bowl for a while?" Brian pleaded.

"I want a carriage ride!" Warlock said.

"I -- I wouldn't mind one myself," Aziraphale said.

Crowley paused, before looking over his shoulder at Aziraphale.

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt, would it? Legion, would you mind?"

"Not in the least!" he called over his shoulder. "Climb aboard, e'rybody!"

The teens cheered, before they all clambered on.

"Mind the step, plant yerselves comfy. Where would we all like to go on this fine, fine day?"

"The Royal Doulton Music Hall, please!" Crowley called, passing his umbrella to Aziraphale.

"Where?" Wensleydale asked.

"What's that?" Warlock questioned.

"We're on the brink of an adventure, children, don't spoil it with too many questions." She winked to show how much she meant it, though.

"Let's go, Jim," Legion called, and the horse galloped.

\"In the bedroom, you were never by yourself."\

Jim's hooves clanked against the glass.

\"There was quite another World upon your shelf."\

"Hold on!" Aziraphale called, and they went upside down.

\"Where each day crowds make their way upon the sun's decent  
To a mythical, mystical never-quite-logistical tent  
Yes, in this dearly dynamical simply ceramical Royal Doulton bowl  
There's a cuddly a curious  
Furry and furious animal watering hole!"\

They hit a bump, and Dog went flying out of Adam's hands, landing safely in Aziraphale's, who passed it back to the boy safely.

\"Where the monkeys and hummingbirds know the tunes and the words  
Every beast large and small."\

Two hummingbirds landed on Aziraphale's finger, bowing at him and Crowley before flying off.

\"Loves the very top drawer-able   
Always encore-able Royal Doulton Music Hall!"\

The blonde man tipped his hat to a family of storks, the two parents both wearing different colored dresses while their daughter wore part of a suit and son was nestled in a blanket trapped between one of their beaks.

"That one tickled my tail!" Legion called over his shoulder. "Nearly there, Crowley!

\"Yes, in this marvelous, mystical  
Rather sophistical Royal Doulton bowl   
There's a lot of birds cuing up  
A lot of hams chewing up scenery they swallow whole!   
There are lots of cats tuning strings  
Nightingales in the wings!  
Waiting for their big drum roll  
At the simply sensational   
Standing ovation-al  
Royal Doulton Music Hall!"\

"Here we are!" 

They stood in an empty area.

"Where's the music hall?" Pepper asked.

"Oh, yes, that," Crowley said. "Silly me."

He opened up his umbrella, and held it overhead, spinning it in hand.

A black tent formed overhead and came to be in the space.

"How on Earth did he do that?" Pepper whispered to Aziraphale.

"One thing you should know about Crowley…" he smiled, "he never explains anything."

"Get tickets while you still can!" a wolf -- Gabriel -- said. "For the one night only, one and only!... Crowley! What an honor it is to have you join us this evening."

"Thank you," he said.

"And who's this I see?" he asked. "Why, it's Adam, Pepper, Wensleydale, Brian, and Warlock!"

"You know us?" Adam asked.

"Of course! /Everyone/ knows you five!"

"We've all been watching you in the nursery for years!" a badger -- Michael -- crowed.

"Hurry along now!" Gabriel said. "Get some peanuts and candy floss, and go right in!"

Warlock whipped around. "May we, Nanny?"

"Yes," he sighed.

The kids hopped away.

"Just keep away from the edge of the bowl!"

As the seven disappeared, Gabriel and Michael got dark looks on their faces.

\"At the highly-acclaimable  
Nearly untamable!  
Lavishly praisable  
Always roof-raise-able!  
Royal Doulton   
Music Hall!"\

They all came in, cotton candy in hand, as the flamingos finished their song in a few dances and stints.

Brian nearly sat on a family of mice as they sat down at the front row, squeezing together.

"Excuse me," he said, and they tipped their hats in acknowledgment.

The crowd cheered as the flamingos waved and disappeared behind the curtain.


	8. Chapter 8

The lights dimmed, and a spotlight shown on a familiar figure in white.

"Bucks and mares, cubs and does, welcome to our show of shows!" Aziraphale yelled. "It is my great honor, to introduce, this evenings renowned guest...the one...the only… Crowley!"

He threw his arm out to the man and a spotlight shown on him as the whole tent cheered.

"Thank you! Thank you very much!" He waved his hand to the crowd.

"Come on!" Aziraphale cheered, motioning him up.

"Oh, no, no, no."

"Come on up!"

"Go on," Warlock encouraged.

"Silly angel," Crowley said, but stood nonetheless, and Adam sat Dog down on her seat, so he could watch the show.

He bowed to the crowd, and someone yelled an encouragement to sing.

"No. No, no, no."

"Come on," Aziraphale said. "Have a go."

"I haven't sung in years," he lied.

Four penguin heads popped out behind the curtain.

"Please, sing for us, Crowley!" they chorused.

"No, I couldn't possibly," he said. He looked at the orchestra pit. "D-flat major."

Orchestral music started playing as part of the curtain rose up, revealing a changing curtain.

\"Uncle Gutenberg was a bookworm  
And he lived on Charing Cross  
The memory of his volumes brings a smile  
He would read me lots of stories  
When he wasn't on the sauce  
Now i'd like to share the wisdom  
Of my favorite bibliophile."\

He grabbed the cane and top hat leaning on the curtain, pulling them to him.

\"He,"\ he put the hat on, \"said,"\ he put the cane over shoulder, \"a,"\ the curtain rose, revealing him in something close to what Aziraphale would wear -- though, in all black (except the shirt). \"cover is not the book  
So open it up, and take a look  
'Cause under the covers one discovers that the king may be a crook  
Chapter titles are like signs, and, if you read between the lines --  
You'll find your first impression was mistook  
For, a cover is nice, but, a cover is not the book!"\

The animals in the crowd sang to the rhythm.

"Crowley, could you give us an example?" one of the penguins asked.

"Certainly!" 

Crowley booped the tip of his beak and the penguin sighed dreamily.

He leaned back onto a bench in a book.

\"Nellie Rubina was made of wood, but what could not be seen, was, though, her trunk up top was barren  
Well, her roots were lush and green  
So, in spring, when Mr Hick'ry saw her blossoms bloomin' there  
He took root, despite her bark  
And now there's seedlings everywhere!"\

He reached up with his cane, and pulled on a lever, which made the tree, which resembled closely to a woman, bloomed flowers.

Aziraphale jumped up from behind the bench and sat next to him.

\"Which proves a cover is not the book  
So open it up and take a look  
'Cause under the covers one discovers that the king may be a crook  
Chapter titles are like signs!  
And, if you read between the lines!  
You'll find you first impression was mistook  
For, a cover is nice, but a cover is not the book!"\

They bumped their shoulders together at the last beat.

"Shall we do the one 'bout the 'Wealthy Widow'?" Crowley asked.

"Oh, by all means!" Aziraphale encouraged.

"Always loved that one!"

"Well, go on, then!"

\"Lady Hyacinth Macaw brought all her treasures to a reef  
Where she only wore a smile  
Plus two feathers,"\ they put their hats over Crowley's breasts, \"and a leaf!"\ Aziraphale put his hat over Crowley's head, while the latter brought his down south.  
\"So, no one tried to rob her, 'cause she barely wore a stitch  
For when you're in your birthday suit, there ain't much there to show your rich!  
Oh, a cover is not the book  
So, open it up, and take a look  
'Cause under the covers, one discovers that the king may be a crook  
Ta-roo a-lee, ta-roo a-lie, ta-roo a-lee ratatataa  
You'll find your first impression was mistook  
Yadadada!  
For, a cover is nice, but, a cover is not the book!"\

They bumped their hips together.

"Oh, give us the one 'bout the 'Dirty Rascal,' whydontcha?" Crowley asked, resting his arm on Aziraphale's shoulder.

"Isn't that one a bit long?" Aziraphale asked. Crowley shrugged.

"Well, the quicker yer into it, the quicker yer out 'a it."

He hit the cane on the floor to the tempo, and the orchestra started playing it like it.

Aziraphale ran over, jumping onto a book.

\"Once upon a time, in a nursery rhyme  
There was a castle with a king  
Hiding in a wing  
'Cause he never went to school to learn a single thing  
He had scepters and swords, and parliament of Lords, but, on the inside he was sad  
Egad!  
Because, he never had a wisdom for numbers, a wisdom for words  
Though, his crown was quite immense, his brain was smaller than a birds  
So, the queen of the nation made a royal proclamation to the misses and the messers  
The more of lessers   
Bring me all the land's professors."\

He tilted the edge of his hat to cover the left side of his face.

\"Then she went to the hairdressers  
And, they came from the East  
And, they came from the South  
From each college they poured knowledge from their brains into his mouth."\

He let the hat roll down his arm and into his hand, then flipped it onto his head.

\"But, the kind couldn't learn  
So, each professor met their fate  
For the queen had their heads removed and placed upon the gate  
And on that date --"\

He jumped back, onto the floor, then jumped back onto the books.

\"I state their wives all got a note their mate was now the late great   
But, then suddenly one day a stranger started in to sing  
He said 'i'm the dirty rascal, and i'm here to teach the king!'  
And, the queen clutched her jewels, for she hated royal fools  
But, this fool had some rules they really ought to teach in schools!  
He said 'you'll be a happy king if you enjoy the things you got!  
'Just never try to be the kind of person that you're not'  
So, they sang, and they laughed, for the king had found a friend  
And they ran onto a rainbow for the story's perfect end  
So, the moral is you mustn't let the outside be the guide  
For it's not so cut and dried  
Well, unless it's Dr Jekyll, then you better hide  
Petrified!  
No, the truth can't be denied,as i've now have testified, all that really counts and matters is the special stuff inside!"\

The crowd cheered, and Crowley, along with a few animals behind him burst through a door.

\"Oh, a cover is not the book  
So open it up and take a look  
'Cause under the covers one discovers that the king may be a crook!  
So please listen to what we've said  
And open a book tonight in bed!  
So, one more time, before we get the hook!  
Sing it out strong!  
A cover is nice -- !  
Please take out advice  
A cover is nice -- !  
Or you'll pay the price!  
A cover is nice, but, the cover is not the book!"\

The crowd cheered as Aziraphale and Crowley took their hats off in unison and threw their hands into the air.

The Them and Warlock stood up to cheer, applauding loudly.

Adam looked over to the vacant seat.

He sat his cotton candy onto the seat and looked underneath it, but found it vacant as well.

He looked to the side of the tent, and saw a familiar outline of a shadow.

"Dog!" he whispered, and pushed himself up, walking to the edge of the tent.

On the stage, the tall penguin handed Crowley a rose, and wiggled his eyebrows.

Crowley kissed him on his cheek, and he swooned, right into Aziraphale's arms.

They made their exit on the stage, just as Brian noticed someone from their quintet was missing.

"Where's Adam?" Brian asked quickly, turning to the other three, who looked around with him, boardoring on frantic.

At the edge of the tent, Adam pushed the curtain to the side, and witnessed a site; A carriage with wooden planks but no roof attached to a traditional carriage, the former being filled with things that didn't match the cartoonish decor. No, it looked more like familiar things…

Gabriel leaned on a pristine white wardwhit, a watch dangling in his hand, the clear surface swinging in a slow motion as he watched Michael lift chairs and tables and knick-knacks alike that /didn't belong to them/.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and stepped out of the tent, the cloth falling back into place.

Michael whipped around with a gasp, but quickly got back to work.

"Well, well," Gabriel drawled, the watch tick-tocking in his hand. "If it isn't the boy who cracked the bowl." At the last word, he swung the watch into his hand, and stuffed it into his coat pocket. "We've waited a long time for you children...to come and visit us. So we could pay a visit to your room."

"But -- but those are our things," Adam said, as Michael lifted a crate with a soul object that would warrant the next reaction out of him.

"Give Dog back!" 

He rushed forward, to the crate, snatching him out of it and hugging him to his chest.

"He's mine!"

Michael reached for the stuffed animal, as Wensleydale shouted behind them.

/"Leave our friend alone!"/

"Time to go!" Gabriel said, and Michael grabbed Adam instead, and hefted him into the carriage before closing the latches, then rushed onto the front carriage as it took off.

The four looked at Adam's face as they reared off.

They took off after it, but couldn't keep up, instead falling behind as it got surrounded by fog.

They panted, before screeching as they were hefted into a different carriage.

"Legion!" Warlock cheered.

"Jim!" Pepper sighed.

"That's right, 's us!" Legion cheered, before facing the path.

"Let's go get your friend back!" Jim chuffed, and continued to pick up speed.

Michael reached through her carriage's window and shoveled coal into the engine, and it picked up speed, nearly going off path.

The carriage started to tilt with the path, and Adam nearly tripped, before righting himself, gripping Dog and the planks.

The carriage jerked to the side as theirs got closer to it, and theirs went to its other side.

"We're closin' in -- get ready t' jump!" Legion called over his shoulder, and the four pounced onto the carriage's outer wall.

"'Ell done, chil'ren!" Legion cheered.

"Give 'em what-for!" Jim huffed, and they drew away.

"Get rid of them!" Gabriel called from up front, and Michael made her way to them, snarling.

Brian glanced at them, before stretching his arm into the carriage, and pulling out a lacrosse-bat, taking a swing at her as she ducked, and the thing went flying out of his hands, hitting the glass, and making a piece chip and come flying towards them, hitting Michael in the back of the head, and sending her flying off the carriage.

Pepper looked at them. "Stay with Adam."

"Right," Wensleydale said, and they slid through planks.

Pepper wobbly stood, and wobbled over to the nozzle of the carriage, reaching down and nearly burning herself on the metal and she attempted to unhook it, before finally pulling the latch out of it and the carriages disconnected.

Pepper climbed back into the carriage as Gabriel growled and grabbed a shovel from the side of the carriage, and jamming it into the glass, breaking it in two.

One of the side wheels slid into the breaking line, and they made their way to --

"Oh, no," Adam hissed.

"The edge of the bowl!" all five called out, before they all plummeted off the side and into the abyss.


	9. Chapter 9

"It's alright, it's alright," Nanny Ashtoreth said as Adam shook in his bed. She shushed him in a soothing tone. He looked at her, panting. "You were having a nice sort of nightmare, I must say." She reached over and turned on the lamp.

"You were right, Nanny!" he exclaimed. "A cover is not the book! We thought they were nice, but they were /mean/!"

"Whatever are you talking about?"

"They tried to take Dog!"

She reached over, grabbing the stuffed toy around its body and holding it out to him.

"Dog is right here," she soothed. "Sleeping, as you should be."

"But it was...real! They stole these things."

"That is absurd." She pushed herself off the edge of the bed as the others began to sit up as well.

"I had a nightmare like that, too," Warlock said from beside him.

"So did I!" Wensleydale reached over to his bedside table and flicked on the lamp in the middle of him and Brian. "It seemed awfully real."

"...I don't want them to lose their home," Adam said.

"You see, Warlock," Brian said, pushing his covers aside, "that's why we wanted George's bowl. We were going to sell it to save the house."

The five gathered on Brian and Wensleydale's beds.

Warlock hung her head. "I miss George."

"Oh, listen to the lot of you," Ashtoreth said after a moment. "You're all worrying far too much. After all, you can't lose what you never lost."

"...I don't understand," Brian said.

"Well…\Do you ever lie awake at night?  
Just between the dark and the morning light  
Searching for the things you used to know  
Looking for the place where the lost things go?"\

She reached over and nudged a small toy truck to the side a little.

\"Do you ever dream or reminisce?  
Wondering where to find what you truly miss?  
Well, maybe all those things that you love so  
Are waiting in the place where the lost things go  
Memories you've shared   
Gone for good, you feared  
They're all around you still  
Though they've...disappeared   
Nothing's really left  
Or lost without a trace  
Nothing's gone forever  
Only out of place…"\

She smiled then reached out her hands for Pepper and Warlock.

\"So maybe now the dish  
And my best spoon  
Are playing hide and seek just behind the moon…"\

She tucked the two in, then headed back to Brian and Wensleydale's beds to do the same.

\"Waiting there until  
It's time to show  
Spring is like that now  
Far beneath the snow  
Hiding in the place  
Where the lost things go…"\

She reached for Adam's hand.

"Time to get some sleep. And, in the morning, bright and early, we'll take that bowl to my cousin. Have it mended."

She tucked him in.

\"Time to close your eyes  
So sleep can come around  
For, when you dream you'll find all that's lost is found  
Maybe on the Moon  
Or, maybe somewhere new  
Maybe all you're missing lives inside of you  
So, when you need his touch  
And loving gaze  
Gone, but not forgotten is the perfect phrase  
Smiling from a star  
That he makes glow  
Trust he's always there   
Watching as you grow  
Find him in the place  
Where the lost things go…"\

She walked out of the room, closing the doors behind her.

Brian stood up after the doors were shut, and headed to the patio, looking out the door and to the stars.

He went to head back, but looked to his left and padded to the bowl.

"Wens, look!" he whisper-shouted, pointing to the bowl.

The teen pushed himself up and looked at it with him.

"Nanny's scarf. It wasn't a dream after all."

"Shall we tell her?" Wensleydale asked.

"Better not," he said. "I expect he already knows."

Outside of the door, Crowley gave a warm smile.


	10. Chapter 10

"Blasted!" Sandalphon exclaimed upon hearing the familiar chime. "They've done it again, Uriel! Those Big Ben people have gone and wrung it to soon!"

As the two friends continued on, a blonde man rode on his bike towards the house next to it.

"Oh, hello there, Aziraphale!" Ashtoreth called from the patio. "The children and I are going into town to get something fixed, would you like to come with?"

"Oh, certainly!" he called back, before Newt proceeded to walk into him, SPRUCE papers going flying.

"Hello, Newt. You ought to give Aziraphale one of those...flyers."

She walked back in.

"You're Newt Pulsifer, aren't you?" Aziraphale asked, handing him a part of the papers.

"Yes?" he asked confusedly, then his eyes widened. "/Oh/. Aziraphale!"

Aziraphale gave him his charming smile.

"We haven't seen you in forever! You haven't been around since Nanny Ashtoreth… But your smile hasn't changed a bit!"

They stood up with the papers.

"This afternoon, is it?" Aziraphale smiled. "I'll see what I can do."

Inside, Agnes watched the two.

"Polishing the key holes, are we?" Ashtoreth asked, unimpressed.

"Ah, Newt's seen Aziraphale again."

She let the slot shut as Anathema came running in.

"My alarm didn't ring," she said in a rush.

"Oh, let me help you," Ashtoreth said, grabbing her case and passing it to Agnes.

"I'm gonna be late," she sighed. "That's all that I need!"

"Well, you're not late yet, are you?" Ashtoreth asked, passing her her hat and cane. "Here you are." She opened up the door. "Off you go."

Anathema rushed out.

She passed by Newt, the two exchanging a kiss as she rushed down the street.

A few seconds later, Agnes careened out of the house, waving something in the air.

"An'thema! Your briefcase!" She sighed when she realised she wasn't coming back. "Blimey, she'd leave 'er head on the breakfast table if it 'eren't screwed on."

"Here, Agnes," Nanny Ashtoreth said, carrying a white package and the kids following close behind, "i'll take the case. The children and I are heading that way on an errand, we'll stop by the bank afterwards."

"I'll give you a lift," Aziraphale offered. "My rounds are done."

They stopped in their tracks and turned to him.

"Wonderful," Ashtoreth hissed happily.

He made sure the ladder was secure.

"All aboard everyone," he said. "Come on."

"On the bicycle?" Brian asked.

"There are seven of us," Pepper said. "We can't all fit."

"The weight on those wheels alone…" Wensleydale sighed. He turned towards their caretaker. "Nanny Ashtoreth, how much do you weigh?"

The look that she made was ineffably hilarious.

"Never you mind about that," Aziraphale said quickly. "'Tis all a question of balance." He turned to them, and picked up Brian. "Brian, here."

The teen let out a "whoa!" as he was lifted off the ground and sat next to his friend, and then Pepper next to him.

"Sit up straight, you're not flour bags!" Nanny Ashtoreth said, as finally Adam was put at the end.

"Warlock in the front," Aziraphale said, and picked her up, being mindful of where her skirts were as to not get them caught on anything. He turned back to the ladder. "Miss Ashtoreth, you here." He gestured to the other end of the ladder, and offered a hand to her as she sat at the end.

The Them and Warlock all exclaimed as Aziraphale and Nanny Ashtoreth let go and the bike tilted, making Newt and Agnes rush to it as Aziraphale straddled the bike and Ashtoreth sat on the end of the ladder.

/"Primed and ready, Uriel?"

"Ready and charged, Sandalphon."/

"Ready everyone?" Aziraphale checked.

"Ready!" they all exclaimed.

"Are you sure this is quite safe?" Newt checked.

"Not in the slightest," Ashtoreth said cheerfully. "Ready."

/"Three…

Two…

One…"/

They took off at the sound of a canon going off overhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have strong feelings for Sandalphon and Uriel, can't you tell


	11. Chapter 11

"Now, pull over, right ahead -- Thank you, Angel."

Aziraphale pulled over to the side of a cobblestone alleyway.

"Right -- Off we go, jiggity-jog."

Ashtoreth stood up, grabbing the umbrella that Warlock handed to her with a thanks and continued into front the alley, then waited for her companions.

"Never noticed this alley before," Aziraphel muttered.

"Well, clearly, you've never had a Royal Doulton bowl that wanted mending," she sassed. "Straight ahead."

They ended at the small door at the end of the alley.

"Here we are."

She rasped on the door.

"'Madame Tracey's all repairs, large and small, fix-it shop'," Pepper read off the creaking sign.

"Looks as though it's just a small fix-it shop today," Aziraphale commented.

"That's just what we want," Ashtoreth responded. "The bowl only needs a small fix, after all."

She used her umbrella to knock on the door, and the parrot head groaned.

"Oh, so now my head is a door knocker," it said. Ashtoreth sighed. "I suppose my beak might be for opening cans."

"You fuss, fuss, fuss, don't be so /dramatic/!"

She knocked on the door again. When there was no response, she used the tip of the umbrella to push open the mail slot.

"Cousin Tracey!"

"Crowley!" a voice exclaimed further in the building. "Oh, for all the love of all that is mystical.../do not come in/!"

"Don't be so rude!"

"/Please/ stay away! It is Second Wednesday!"

Ashtoreth gasped and withdrew the umbrella.

"Second Wednesday," she muttered. "Oh, Someone. I'd forgotten." She paused. "Still, today or never, that's my motto."

"No, it's --"

Nanny Ashtoreth ignored him in favor of kicking in the door.

A glow came from in the door as she disappeared through it and into the room.

There were knick knacks and clutter all around the shop, from vases to instruments to shoes.

"So," a woman said, who was sat in the middle of the room, on a staircase, "in you come. You do not listen to Madame."

"I --"

Before Nanny Ashtoreth could finish, there was a rumbling, and the entire room flipped upside down.

"Now," Madame Tracey sighed, looking up at them from the ceiling, "what do you want?"

"You have gusts, Madame. You might at least greet them at the door."

"And how am I to do that? Please, when I am down here, up on the ceiling?"

Ashtoreth sighed. "Very well. We'll come to you. Excuse me, Warlock."

Warlock, who had her head tilted, backed up out of her way.

She stepped onto a shelf, and slid along the fireplace.

"Be careful on the way up."

"Oh, why be careful?" Madame Tracey groaned. "Leave it all for Madame to clean up. Climb on my shelves. Step on the toys." There was a clatter as something fell. "Kick the little china dolls in their faces."

Nanny Ashtoreth pointed to her companions. "Pepper, Adam, Brian, Wensleydale, Warlock, and, you know Aziraphale…" She turned around. "This is my cousin."

"Second cousin. Many times removed."

"On what side of the family?" Pepper inquired.

"No," the two answered at the same time.

Ashtoreth reached over to Aziraphale and grabbed the package out of his hand, holding it out to her.

"We need you to fix this bowl, Madame."

She waved her hand. "No, no, no, no, no. It is as I have told to you...Second Wednesday of the month...when everything is turning turtle."

"'Turning turtle'?" Pepper asked. "What does that mean?"

"It means my whole world goes flippity-flop, like a turtle on its back. And I don't know my ups from my downs, my east from my west, my topsy from my bottomsy…"

"Yes, I think we've all grasped the concept," Ashtoreth hissed.

"Good, that's quick for you." She turned around and reached up, grabbing something. "You see, my littles, anything I try to fix on Second Wednesday goes kerflooey."

"'Kerflooey'," Ashtoreth mimicked, rolling her eyes.

"Kerflooey!" Madame threw the trumpet-wannabe behind her with a clatter.

"Please, cousin, you have always said that you can fix anything."

Madame Tracey sisigh and turned to Warlock. "Sweet girl, you tell Nanny Ashtoreth here that on any other day Madame Tracey /can/ fix anything."

The teens titled their heads.

\"If you bring me something broken on a Thursday i'll make new, with my glue, pins, and thread  
What you've bring, when i've awoken, on a Friday  
I will mend, and then spend the day in bed  
Children, Satur, Sun, and Mondays are just everything-is-fun days  
But in the second week, I wear a frown  
For, I know that after Tuesday  
Comes the Madame-gets-bad-news day  
It's the dreaded Second Wednesday   
When from nine to noon my life turns upside down!"\

She grabbed on of her chandeliers and bowed backwards, looking at them all.

\"Fast is slow, low is high, stop is gi and that is why every Second Wednesday is a hurdle."\

She winked at them and Ashtoreth scoffed.

\"From eight to nine all is well  
Then I roll over on my shell  
And all because the world is turning turtle…"\

Ashtoreth walked forward to hand her the bowl.

"No! \Day is night, dog is cat, black is white, thin is fat  
That is why i'm loosening up my girdle  
I cannot help this charming troupe  
Don't mock me 'cause i'm in the soup  
And why? Because the world is turning turtle!"\

She spun around dramatically.

\"Oh, woe is me  
I'm as opposite as I can be  
I long for Thursdays when the world is drab."\

She walked behind a curtain then thrust her head back out.

\"When will it cease?  
Now my life resembles War and Peace  
That Tolstoy certainly had the gift of gab  
I couldn't get through it."\

She put her hand on Adam's head.

\"Bottom's top, yin is yang, peace and quiet, sturm und drang  
Tuesday nights my blood begins to curdle."\

She hit a direction sign, the letters spinning every which way.

\"East is west, in is out, and that is why I need to shout 'oh no!'  
The world is turning turtle!"\

She hit an upside down head of a deer, which spun the other way, directly down, and the hats on its antlers flew off, landing on everyone's heads.

Ashtoreth took off the tophat which landed over her own hat, and took the latter off before replacing it with the tophat, while Aziraphale took hers and placed on his own head. Adam wore a straw hat, Warlock wore a pirate hat, Pepper a cap, Wensleydale a fez, and Brian a golfers cap.

\"Oh, if you had come some other morn, you wouldn't have found me so forlorn  
But, since the day that I was born, Second Wednesday is on the fritz."\

Aziraphale spun the bowl around in his hand and tried to pass it to her.

\"I couldn't mend this to save my soul  
If this keeps up i'll dig a hole  
You say life's a cherry bowl  
But Wednesday's full of pits."\

\"Tell us, can you fix this drum?"\ Aziraphale asked, holding up a small drum with holes on the sides.

\"Well today's looking glum…"\

\"Can you mend this crack?"\ Brian held up a golden clarinet.

\"And broken string?"\ Pepper held up a guitar.

\"Well, perhaps if you all lend a hand!"\ she offered.

\"Our fingers are at your command!"\ 

\"A broken songbird still can sing."\ Ashtoreth said.

\"Let's do the turtle swing!"/

The Madame jumped up, grabbing the top of her hanging lamp and spinning around on it then jumped off, the lot of them running to the top of her shelf and sliding across it, Madame Tracey grabbing her ladder and stepping on it before sliding down the aisle of her shelf, while Ashtoreth and Aziraphale swung on the lamp and swinging across it and the teens sliding down the window panes from the bottom of it to the top.

When Madame Tracey did it and slid to the bottom, she side flipped onto the top of her shelf, where she did a headstand, her pens and threads and jewelry and clothes staying in place, as if she were standing up.

\"Oh, woe is me, now i'm on my head, how can that be?"\

\"You say 'woe,' but I say lucky you."\

\"Lucky me?"\

\"Yes  
Here, on your head, A is far behind and led by Z  
It's good to get a different point of view!"\

"I love your shoes," Madame Tracey said, looking at Nanny Ashtoreth.

"You see," she drawled, "when the world turns upside down, the best thing is to turn right along with it!"

"I do see! From down here, everything looks right-side-up!"

"I wouldn't mind seeing things from that angle," Aziraphale said.

"Sounds like fun," Warlock said.

Adam turned to her. "Can we?"

"Very well," she said. "Flippity-flop!" She slammed her umbrella down onto the ground, and they all flew up, until they were doing headstands by her.

\"Near is --"\

\"Far is --"\ 

\"Here is --"\ 

\"There!"\

\"Turtles turning everywhere!"\ 

\"Things are getting clear!"\ 

\"Oh, knock on wood, my dear!"\ 

The parrot umbrella crashed down between Aziraphale and Crowley with a grunt.

/"When you change the view, from where you stood…  
The things you view will change for good."\

Madame Tracey's eyes looked all around the room and she jumped up.

\"I never thought of things that way!"\

Nanny Ashtoreth jumped up.

\"She never thought of things that way!"\

\"Now Wednesdays are my favorite day!"\

The rest of them jumped up.

\"Now Wednesdays are her favorite day!"\

\"'Cause that's the day i'm quite   
And now thanks to cousin Crowley  
I have changed, to be exact!  
I love the fact --"\

\"The world is turning turtle!"\

They all flopped dramatically onto the window panes.

"Come," Madame Tracey gestured. "Give your bowl to me."

Aziraphale handed her the bowl.

"Excuse me," Brian said, sitting next to her. "Do you have any idea how much our bowl might be worth?"

"In money?" Madame Tracey hummed. "Not very much, i'm afraid. But, that doesn't make it any less beautiful."

"George always said it was priceless," Warlock said.

"Well i'm sure it was. To him."

The teens hung their heads.

"Crowley is right. For once. It is all in the way that you look at things."

She side-eyed the other woman.

"Thank you, Madame." She smiled. "Now, come along children, get your hats."

"And don't you worry about bowl," Madame Tracey promised as the group headed to the door. "I will fix, and make perfect, for you. So you come back, maybe, next Second Wednesday."

"Yes, spit spot." Ashtoreth clapped her hands.

"Nice seeing you, dear," Aziraphale said.

She winked at him, and they all walked out.


	12. Chapter 12

"Now what are we gonna do?" Adam asked as they all walked through the alley.

"I have no idea." Pepper sighed.

"Well, like Madame said," Wensleydale started. "...maybe we should start looking at things differently."

There was a rumble behind them, and they turned to look at the end of the alley.

"Oh, marvelous," Ashtoreth cheered. "Looks like things are starting to turn around for the Madame."

She walked ahead and the teens walked after her.

·~·

They stopped around the corner from the bank, while Aziraphale stayed on as the rest got off.

"Aren't you coming?" Brian questioned.

"Ah, afraid not, dear," he smiled. "I have something to get to that should be starting in a bit."

Nanny Ashtoreth smiled at him.

"Well, we'll see you later, then," she said, and they were off.

·~·

They walked up the stairs, into the bank, and walked through the crowded building.

"There must be /someone/ who could help us save the house," Brian said. "I'm sure Anathema's already asked."

"Well, we haven't," Adam stated.

"Maybe we could get them to see things from a new point of view."

"Sit over there, please, children," Ashtoreth instructed, pointing to a bench behind her. 

As the five teens made their way to the bench, Ashtoreth slammed the briefcase onto the table, gaining the person behind the counter's attention.

"'Scuse me, i'd like to see Miss Anathema --"

A man interrupted her, sliding a clipboard underneath the person's face.

"I'll need a signature for those, Sir," he said softly, and gave a sorry smile to Ashtoreth.

"Of courze," the person behind the counter said, then turned to Ashtoreth,"'Zcuze me a moment."

"Well!" Ashtoreth stage whispered, then turned to a nearby scale, looking at herself in the reflective surface.

"We mustn't be late to Lucifer." 

The five teens on the bench looked over at Ligur, who was speaking to his husband.

As the two passed by the five, he waved, Warlock waving back.

Pepper grabbed her hand, pushing it down.

"What'd you do that for?" Warlock asked. "You hurt his feelings."

"You do know who those men are, don't you, Warlock?"

"Yes. They're the lawyers."

Adam seemed to get an idea. "Maybe we could convince them to help us."

Brian shrugged. "Worth a try."

They looked up at Nanny Ashtoreth.

Now, Nanny Ashtoreth could see them. It was her job, after all, to look after them, make sure everything was going to plan. She saw them looking, and, based off their conversation, they were about to go have one with the two.

She looked down, pretending to not notice as the lot shot up the stairs.

"Now," the person behind the counter said, looking at Ashtoreth. "How can I help you?"

·~·

The five rounded the door as Hastur and Ligur walked into Lucifer's office, walking into the hall.

"Is there something I can do for you, children?" Someone drawled from the desk to their right, startling them.

"May I have a sweet, please?" Warlock asked.

She sighed but conceded, lifting up the lid to the jar.

"I suppose you can," she sighed.

"In foreclosure," a voice, muffled, said, and the group looked to the door. "Miss Anathema Device, 17 Cherry Lane, in foreclosure."

"How many repossessions, so far, this month?" a silky smooth voice, almost seductive-like, drawled.

"Nineteen. And we have nearly that amount scheduled for next week alone."

"Who'dve thought this slump would be so good for business, eh?"

"I wonder, Lucifer, sir, if, perhaps…"

"...as Miss Device is an employee, you might consider giving her a few more weeks," another voice finished.

"And lose our chance to get that house?" Lucifer snapped.

"I mean," the two stammered.

"I don't like to lose, Hastur. Ligur."

The phone buzzed. Dagon picked it up.

She sighed after a moment. "Yes, sir. Right away." She pushed herself up, gesturing to the jar. "Why don't you all help yourselves?"

Once she was out of the room, Pepper rested her hand on Adam's shoulder, nodding her head to the door.

Brian grabbed their arms before they could open the door. 

"'Office of the Bank Chairman'," he read. "We can't go in there!"

Adam pushed open the door a crack, and Warlock peeked her head through.

"I'm running a business, not a charity," Lucifer said. "We are not giving Device one more second to pay off that loan. Do I make myself clear? In two days, Device will be out on that street and the house...will be ours."

Warlock pushed open the double doors before the Them could stop her.

"You can't steal their house!" she huffed. "I'm telling Anathema!"

Lucifer stammered. "Steal your… who are you?"

"Those are the Them and Warlock Dowling," Ligur whispered. "Miss Device and Mr Pulsifer's friends."

"Are they?" He kneeled down. "Come here, girl, I think you might have --"

Adam grabbed her hand, and the five kids shot out the door.


	13. Chapter 13

"We've really done it now, haven't we?" Brian sighed.

"I don't think i've ever seen her that angry before," Wensleydale said.

"But we were telling the truth!" Adam cried.

"That doesn't matter, Adam," Pepper sighed. "We got her in trouble. And she doesn't even know we've broken George's bowl."

"Everything we've tried to fix we've only made worse," Warlock sighed.

They had ran down into the main lobby of the bank, Ligur and Hastur hot on their heels, and Lucifer came up behind them. They said he was trying to take the house. He said they were lying, and gave them candy, albeit forcefully, and were shooed out of the bank by a very much upset Anathema, Ashtoreth being ordered to take them home.

The next minute, they were lost.

Pepper turned to her. "Which way do we go, Nanny?"

"Now," she hissed, "why would you ask me? You lot were leading the way, after all."

"/Us/?" Warlock asked.

"But we were --"

"Walking around, in a fog," Ashtoreth sighed.

"Now, we weren't," Pepper huffed, crossing her arms. "I mean, we are in a fog, but…"

"We were only talking," Wensleydale said.

"Yes," Ashtoreth hissed, "too focused on where you've /been/ to pay attention to where you're going."

"But Anathema told us to go straight home!"

"She'll be furious if we're late," Pepper stated.

Ashtoreth waved. "Not much to be done about that, now, is there?"

"Are we lost, then?" Adam inquired.

"That would depend on where you want to go!" A voice called from above.

"Aziraphale!" The five chorused as the lamp overhead lit up, fire flickering inside.

He tilted his head. "At your service…" He looked at them. "Say, what's with all the grim faces, dears? Lost sixpence and found a penny?"

"We've made a mess of everything, Pepper sighed.

"Anathema's furious with us," Wensleydale said. 

"And we can't find our way home!" Adam cried.

"Lost?" Aziraphale whispered. He smiled, a big, toothy smile, and wiggled in place. "Are you, Crowley?"

She tilted her head towards him, her glasses sliding down her nose to show off her golden serpentine eyes. "/Hopelessly/."

"Well...i'm no expert, but, whenever I lose my way, I just look for a little... /light/ to guide me."

He titled his head.

\"Let's...say… you're lost...in a park, sure!  
You can give into the dark, or!  
You can trip a little light fantastic, with me!  
When you're alone in your room  
Your choice is just embrace the gloom  
Or, you can trip a little light fantastic --"\

He grabbed onto a lamp post, and jumped down, landing right beside Ashtoreth.

\" -- with me!  
For, if you hide under the covers, you might never see the day!   
But, if a spark can start inside your heart, then you can always find the way!  
So, when life is getting dreary, just pretend that you're a leerie, as you trip a little light fantastic with me!"\

"What's a 'leerie'?" Warlock asked.

"It's what we lamplighters call ourselves, of course." He looked over his shoulder. "Time to send out the call to arms!" He grabbed onto a lamppost, and grabbed the lever, turning it, flashing the light inside on and off. "Leeries! Trip the light to lead the way!"

A light turned on upahead.

\"Now, when you're stuck in the mist, sure  
You can struggle and resist, or  
You can trip a little light fantastic with me!  
Now, say you're lost in the crowd, well  
You can stamp and scream out loud, or  
You can trip a little light fantastic --"\

He held out his hand as they walked across a wall, and in a line they each held out their hand before jumping off and into the street below.

\" -- with me!  
And, when the fog comes rolling in, just keep your feet upon the path  
Mustn't mope and frown  
Or, worse, lie down  
Don't let it be your epitaph!  
So, when life if getting scary, be your own luminary!  
Who can shine the light for all the world to see!  
As you trip a little light fantastic...with me!"\

They skipped down the alley, the lights turning on as they ventured forth.

\"A leerie loves the edge of night  
Though dim, to them, the world looks bright  
They've got the gift of second sight --!"\

He snapped his fingers, and all the lights overhead turned on.

\\\"To trip a little light fantastic!\  
A leeries job's to light the way  
\To take the night, and make it day!\  
We mimic the Moon, yes, that's our aim!  
\For we're the keepers of the flame!\\\"

He slid down the stairs.

\"And if you're deep inside a tunnel  
Where there is no end in sight  
Well, just carry on, until the dawn  
It's darkest right before the light…"\

They stopped at a dead end, where one final lamp sat, lit.

"Now what do we do?" Brian groaned.

"Well, just as Aziraphale said…" Ashtoreth smirked, "we follow the light."

She walked up the lamppost, heels clanking against the stone, before she came to a stop beside it, grabbed onto it, and tapped on the metal three times.

It sank.

The five looked at each other, before one by one sliding down the post and into the tunnel.

\"As you trip a little light fantastic!  
Won't you trip a little light fantastic?  
Come on!  
Trip a little light fantastic!"\

He pushed back a curtain of tree branches.

\"With me!"\

Shadow figures were outlined from the moon, posed in a certain way, and posed in a different way as the lights turned on one by one.

For now, Ashtoreth and the teens sat back and watched.

·~·

"Come along!" A man, that looked like a ballerina, calles. "Join us in a bit of kick and prance!"

"...What'd he say?" Warlock asked Aziraphale as he watched the man's retreating figure.

"Kick and prance! It means dance! It's leerie speak. You don't say some of the words you mean, you say some of the rhymes, only… Here, i'll show you how it works!" He turned to the ballerina. "Apsara, give us your weep and wail!" He turned to the teens, cupping his hands as if telling a secret. "To the rest of you, that means 'tale'!"

Apsara tapped his arm, then turned to the kids.

\"I was short of a sheet!"\

\"He was in the street!"\

\"Just to tumble down the sink!"\

\"Just to get himself a drink!"\

\"Then, I pinched wha's fatter!"\

\"Then he grabbed his ladder!"\

\"To smile and smirk --"\

\\\"To work!"\\\

Apsara tipped his hat, then ran off.

Aziraphale shrugged. "There's nothing to it!"

Brian turned to their caretaker.

"Can you speak leerie, Nanny Ashtoreth?"

"'Can I speak leerie'?" She rolled her eyes.

"Of course she can, she's Nanny Ashtoreth!" Aziraphale stated.

"Can we do it with you?" Warlock asked.

"Please?" All five chorused.

She sighed. "Oh, very well then

She stepped onto the turned off fountain in the middle of the street, sitting on top of it as the leeries and teens crowded around her.

"Children, tell us your sorry tale!" Aziraphale instructed.

"Give us your weep and wail!" The leeries chroused.

\"Well, we had this bowl."\

\"Rabbit in the hole."\

\"That fell and broke."\

\"Bicycle spoke."\

\"So, we took it to a shop."\

\"Like a lollipop."\

\"And went upside down!"\

\"That's a circus clown."\

\"Then went to the bank."\

\"Rattle and clank."\

\"Got lost in the fog."\

\"Lump on a log."\

\"'Til we found a friend."\

\"To stand and defend!"\

\"Who took us on a trip!"\

\"Snap a horse's whip!"\

\\\"And we tripped a little light fantastic!"\\\

Ashtoreth leaned down to them.

\"Now, that sounds a little bit bombastic."\

Aziraphale leaned in, whispering.

\"But, they tripped the light."\

\\\"We tripped the light."\\\

\\\"Let's trip a little light fantastic!"\\\

They threw their hands up, and watched the show of the leeries.

·~·

"You've got it!" Aziraphale exclaimed, holding up a lit torch. "Now, let's get you all back home!"

\\\"Now, if your life is getting foggy  
That's now reason to complain!  
\There's so much in store, inside the door\  
\Of 17 Cherry Tree Lane!"\\\

He threw his torch high in the air, then caught it right before it hit the ground.

\"So, when troubles are incessant, simply be more incandescent  
For, your light comes with a lifetime guarantee!  
As you --  
\Trip a little light fantastic!\  
Won't you -- !  
\Trip a little light fantastic!\  
Come on!  
\Trip a little light fantastic!"\\\

He stood on top of a lamppost, lifting up the torch.

\"With me!"\

\\\"Went to the bank!  
Rattle and clank!  
Met with the boss!  
Pitch and toss!  
Got lost in the fog!  
Lump on a log!  
Trip a little light fantastic!"\\\

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm more than likely going to edit this later


	14. Chapter 14

Agnes and Anathema opened up the door to see the five teens dancing in the street, repeating "trip a little light fantastic!" over and over again, Aziraphale and Ashtoreth watching them, bemused.

"Where on /Earth/ have you all been?" she asked.

The five teens stopped, turning to her.

"I told you to bring them straight home. I've been worried sick!"

"We're sorry we're late," Warlock apologised. "It wasn't Nanny Ashtoreth's fault."

"We got lost in the fog," Brian said.

"Aziraphale and the leeries led us down the frog and toad," Adam explained.

"He means road," Ashtoreth amended.

"So you've been off filling their heads with stuff and nonsense," Anathema grumbled. "I've quite enough. Come in at once!"

"I best take my leave now, dear," Aziraphale said as the five teens made their way in.

"Good night, angel," Ashtoreth said, then followed in after.

·~·

"You could've lost me my job," Anathema whispered. 

They were all in the parlor -- minus Agnes and Newt, the latter still not home. Her arms were crossed tight across her chest, and there the slight twitch in her frowning lips that showed her displeasure for the situation.

"Do you understand that?"

The teens remained silent.

"Have you any idea how difficult it is to find a good position like mine these days? But there you all were, tearing about like a…" she turned to her left. "And you, Nanny Ashtoreth, I thought you were here to look after these children!"

"It wasn't her doing," Wensleydale said. "It was me."

"No," Pepper corrected. "It was us. We thought, maybe, if we talked to Mr Hastur and Mr Ligur...they could give you more time to save the house."

"We were only trying to help."

"Well you didn't help!" Anathema snapped. "Now...I know it's been a hard year for us all...and i've done all I can...to keep you all from worrying, but I can't do this on my own. It's too hard, I just… I can barely hold it together as is, I can't even seem to remember my briefcase in the morning…and there's no more time, I can not lose this house -- I just /can't/!" 

She slammed herself into the armchair.

"I don't know what to do." She pressed her knuckles to her mouth, breathing deeply. "Everything's fallen to pieces since George…" She cried, a tear falling down her cheek. "Haven't we lost enough already?"

Warlock swallowed. "...We haven't lost George." She looked down. "Not really…" She stepped closer to Anathema. \"Nothing's gone forever  
Only...out of place  
So, when we need his touch and loving gaze…"\

Brian stepped up beside her. \"Gone but not forgotten is the perfect phrase."\

\\\"Smiling from a star that he makes glow\  
Trust he's always there\  
Watching as we grow\  
Find him in the place\  
Where the lost things go."\\\

Anathema smiled at the teens, wiping a hand down her face.

"When did you all get so clever?" she asked.

Warlock looked over her shoulder. "Last night, Nanny Ashtoreth told us --"

The woman held a gloved finger to her lips, silencing her.

"...I hope i'm as clever as you when I grow up," Anathema said. She chuckled, standing up. "You're right. Of course you are. He's not gone. He's everywhere! I bet he's watching over us all now, his star twinkling down. Like a blanket. /Protective/. And he'll do it wherever we go."

She grabbed them all in a hug, but released them a minute later.

"Run along. Wash your hands, get ready for dinner."

As they ran into the next room, Anathema pushed herself up, following after Ashtoreth as she walked up the stairs

"Did you have something to do with them trying to save the house?"

Ashtoreth turned to her. "I never said a word. It was all the children's idea."

"The whole time i've been looking after them, they've been looking after me… I had it all backward."

"They've adopted you, Anthema. You're their sister."

She crossed her arms.

"What was I thinking?" she whispered.

Ashtoreth stopped on the staircase and turned to her. 

"Some people think a great deal too much. Of that, I am certain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "they adopted you" part was something I really wanted to add, since the Them would totally adopt Anathema and Warlock


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is going to be a 2 part chapter, from both Ashtoreth/Aziraphale/and the kids pov, and from Newt/Anathema's pov. The first one is Newt/Anathema's.

The leeries wound up helping them pack inside of a truck three days later.

Aziraphale looked through one of the boxes of papers, flipping through them, before shaking his head and passing it on to a leerie.

He looked over as the door opened, kindly grabbing the box in Newt's hands from him, searching through that one as well before sighing.

"No luck?" Newt sighed. Aziraphale shook his head.

"We can look through everything again, if you like?"

"No. No, there's no point, it's nearly midnight. We've tried our best. Thank you. And, thanks to all your friends, for helping us… Thank you."

The leeries bowed to him with a smile, before loading up the box in Aziraphale's hands.

"Of course. Anything for you lot."

Newt giggled. "We'll be out in a moment."

He rushed into his childhood home.

Aziraphale saluted to Uriel and Sandalphon, who were watching over the railing on the apartment, and they saluted back, disappearing.

Anathema slowly turned around in the empty home, memorizing every last detail for the last time. Newt approached her, mimicking.

He sighed, interlinking their arms together and facing the other direction, looking into the kitchen, resting his head on her shoulder.

Warlock, Adam, Wensleydale, Pepper, and Brian walked down the stairs, their things packed safely in their bags.

"The children have packed up the last of their things themselves," Nanny Ashtoreth said, marching behind them.

Newt flicked off the light in the parlor.

"Well done, everyone," Anathema said. "Have you got Dog?"

Adam held up his bag, looking at it protectively.

"Good work."

"Good riddance to that old kitchen," Agnes said. "Never could figure out that stove."

The lot laughed.

"All right, then," Anathema said. "We've spent every last moment that we can here. It's time to say goodbye."

"Goodbye, old friend!" Newt said.

"Goodbye, old friend!" The rest of them chorused.

Newt held open the door for them all, turning off the lights after a final eye sweep of the place.

Outside, Sergeant Shadwell, Miss Lark and Willoughby, and Uriel and Sandalphon stood, waiting for them.

"What are you all doing here so late?" Anathema asked.

"We've been waitin' to see you off, we 'ave," Shadwell said, a box tucked safely in his arms. "'E'd be 'ere no mat'r what the hour."

"If either of you lot should /ever/ need a place to stay…" Miss Lark said. "Willouby and I would be happy for your company."

"That's very kind of you, Miss Lark. Eric, a friend of ours, has offered us up his flat, while the children will go back to their families, of course, after we drop them off… At least, for the time being."

"I wish you'd come with us, Agnes," Newt said, looking to his left.

"Oh, don't you worry 'bout me," she said. "Got a nice room fixed up at me friends'."

Pepper looked over. "You won't leave them, will you, Nanny Ashtoreth."

"Oh, don't be silly," she said.

"She says she's not leaving until the door opens," Warlock reminded.

"In any case, you home with us," Anathema said. "I'm pleased she got caught on your string, Warlock."

Her eyes widened.

"My kite! I forgot my kite!"

Anathema waved her in, and she ran inside.

"Sergeant Shadwell's got something he would like to give you," Uriel said.

He held up the box.

Anathema took it, and opened it up to reveal a pair of golden-black wings.

"Angel wings, built 'em meself. May it guide ye safely ahead."

"Thank you very much, Shadwell," Anathema said. "We'll take very good care of them." She slid the lid back onto the box, and handed it to a leerie, so she could place the box safely inside with the rest of their things."

Uriel looked at her watch. "Eight bells, Sandalphon, time to man our posts!"

Uriel and Sandalphon said goodbye, then both left, the rest of the crowded group following shortly after.

"I found it!" Warlock cheered, running out of the house.

Anathema looked at the green patched kite. "I'm not sure that's gonna get off the ground anymore. Looks more glue than kite." She took it from her, inspecting it. "Did you patch this up with one of my old drawings? Looks like you've done a fine job." She crouched down. "Look. That's all of us together… In front of the, uh…" She looked closely at the picture, lifting it into the light of the streetlamp. "/Wait/." She looked closer, turned it over, then gasped. "'Certificate of Shares'! This is it, this is what we've been looking for!"

Newt cheered.

"We need to get to the bank!" She looked around. "Anyone have the time?"

Brian lifted up his sleeve. "Seven minutes until midnight."

"Seven minutes?" She rubbed a hand down her face. "That's not enough time, we have to be at the bank /by/ midnight!"

"Take the van," Aziraphale said. 

"No, it's no good," Wensleydale said. "You still wouldn't make it in time."

"Well, what can we do?" Newt cried.

"Nothing," Anathema sighed. "We can't turn back time!"

"...Why not?" Pepper asked. "Everything is possible." She turned to Nanny Ashtoreth. "Even the impossible."

"Can we do that," Nanny?" Brian asked. "Can we turn back time?"

"Well," she hissed, smirk forming on her face. "I don't see why that couldn't be arranged."


	16. Chapter 16

"A very good week's work, gentlemen," Lucifer drawled, passing the red leatherbound book to Hastur. "It looks as if Device won't be joining us tonight."

"He does have a few more minutes," Ligur said. "You said you'd wait until the last stroke of midnight."

"Yes, I know that! So, we wait." He reached into the candy bowl. "I'm a man of my word."

He passed the trash to Hastur, who looked in the corner of his eye at Ligur.

·~·

Anathema and Newt sped through the empty town, the truck's engine whirring.

"How much time do we have?" Anathema asked, looking over at Newt for a second before her eyes went back to the road.

"There's only five minutes left, I think," Newt said.

Upstairs, Lucifer would count down the seconds, and, once those seconds were up, would inquire why Big Ben didn't make a sound. Across the way, where the clock rested, it would relight itself, and the two henchmen to Lucifer would say so. 

But, none of that's important.

What should be the focus, is Newt and Anathema arriving in front of the bank, tires screeching as they stopped, their items stacked on the van precariously. 

Really, it was a miracle that none of it had fallen off…

They opened the doors, and made a hasty exit, the kite clutched in Newt's hands as they raced to the doors.

Anathema stopped at the doors, crashing into them. /Locked/. She banged her fists on it, yelling for someone.

When no one came and the doors didn't open, Anathema looked at Newt, then her eyes trailed down.

"Newt," she said, taking the kite from his hands.

"What?" he inquired.

She looked up at him.

"Let's go fly a kite!"

And they ran around the building, to the second story windows.

"There it is!" She pointed. "The one with the light!"

"The first one?"

Anathema unwound the string to the kite, passing the kite itself to Newt.

"You run," she said. "I'll unspool!"

"Yes," he said, and did just that.

The two watched as the kite flew up to the window, seemingly waving in front of it, as they held tight to the string.

"It won't work!" Newt cried, just as a big gust of wind came through, and the office window burst open, the kite flying in the office. It landed on the desk, scattering the papers on top everywhere.

They ran to the door -- which was still /locked/. Anathema slammed her fist on the door, and, five seconds later, it opened, and Ligur and Hastur encouraged them to go to the office.

They did just that, by the security desk, and straight through the door, where Lucifer sat, looking over the kite.

"...What is all this?" he asked.

"It's what we've been looking for!" Anathema said breathlessly.

Across the way, Nanny Ashtoreth smirked.

And, even more down, a cannon boomed, just as Big Ben chimed.

Sandalphon gasped.

"Big Ben has finally got it right!"


	17. Chapter 17

The leeries were hot on Ashtoreth's tail as she rode the bike through the park, the formers hopping over benches and weaving around lamps as they did.

They rode through town, more leeries coming from different directions, except from the front.

They weaved around the fountain and statues, their lights a beacon in the dark.

Big Ben got closer and closer with each obstacle, until they were right in front of it.

Aziraphale helped them off the bike, grabbing the ladder from his bike and rushed up the stairs to Big Ben, along with the rest of the leeries.

"Good," he said once he was at the top of the stairs, passing the ladder to another leerie, and helping Warlock up, as she was the last of the teens to make it to the stairs. "Now, over to the tower."

The leeries disbanded, running to Big Ben.

"Sorry," Aziraphale said, leaning down to take the ladder from Pepper. "This is as far as you go. Back in a flash!"

He ran over to the rest of the leeries, who were staring up at Big Ben.

Aziraphale rushed to the front, then motioned for them to follow him.

"Come on!"

He rushed to the edge, pushing himself onto one of the ledges, then turned around.

"Ladder!"

The ballerina leerie tossed him one of the ladders, which he stuck between the pillars, hitting it to make sure it was in place. He turned around when he needed another one, and got tossed another.

Some of the other leeries rushed up, putting their ladder against the pillars and climbing up onto some of the other ledges.

This continued, until the leeries were on the ladders with Aziraphale, lifting up the ladders to him when they couldn't throw them up anymore. He eventually went to reach the edge, and lifted himself up to see a pigeon, which seemed to stare him down.

He stared right back at it, until it flew off, flying over him and Aziraphale ducked, and, in doing so, the ladder he was standing on fell, leaving him suspended in midair, with only the ledge to hold onto.

"I mean, you'd think they'd never done this before," Nanny Ashtoreth hissed.

He pulled himself up, over the head of the statue there, and through a gap in the pillars. He peeked his head around once he was on it, looking at how far up it was.

"What are we gonna do?" One of the leeries asked.

Aziraphale huffed air out of his nose.

"I've got an idea! Come on!"

Five of the leeries, the ones that were closest to the top, looked at each other, then pulled theirselves up onto the ledge, like Aziraphale had moments before. They took three ladders with them, sticking them together, then made a ledge, poking it out, over the crowded leeries.

Aziraphale hesitantly begun to walk on the ladder, watching where he stepped, until he was at the end of the ladder. He turned around, and lifted up his hands. He looked down, slowly, and made eye contact with the leerie that was hanging in the air, pushing against two of the pillars to stay up above the ladder.

"Now!"

The leerie let go, jumping onto the ladder, and Aziraphale was catapulted up, onto the ledge, in front of the "face" of Big Ben.

The teens cheered.

Aziraphale reached over the giant clock, feeling around it, before he pushed at one part of the clock, and the part unlatched, falling inside.

Aziraphale lifted himself up, climbing inside Big Ben.

He looked at the different, what seemed to be, candles, then his eyes landed on a valve.

He rushed over to it, grabbing onto it then turning it so that the candles all seemed to burn out.

He peeked his head out, looking at the clock.

"Aziraphale!" A voice said, and he looked down, to the ladders, where the ballerina lay. "You can turn the time back now!"

He looked at the clock.

"How?! I can't reach the hands!"

Ashtoreth groaned silently.

"Oh, honesty…"

"They better hurry," Brian cried.

Ashtoreth took out her umbrella and lifted it above her head.

"We have less than a minute to go…"

The leeries watched in suspense as the clock hands begun to move to 12.

"We're to late, Aziraphale!" One leerie said.

"There's got to be a way!"

Warlock gasped. "Look!"

Nanny Ashtoreth flew to the clock, grabbing the big hand and moving it back to the 10.

The leeries cheered.


	18. Chapter 18

"And this goes -- at the top!" Anathema put the last found peice to the certificate, at the side, and clapped her hands happily.

"Does it matter that it has been ripped?" Newt asked.

"It's still worth something, isn't it?" Anathema worried her lip at that.

"It's still valid so long as all the pieces are there," Ligur stated.

"Is that so?" Lucifer inquired.

Anathema scanned the paper -- then frowned. "Now, Warlock, there was a corner piece...with a lot of signatures on it. Do you remember that?"

The girl frowned. "I must've thrown it out." She swallowed. "I'm sorry, Anathema…"

"Oh, that's all right, Warlock…"

"No it isn't," Lucifer stated. "I'm afraid we have a problem, Device. You see, without those signatures, you have no bank shares...no house...you have nothing."

"What?"

"But he knows you have the bank shares!" Pepper stated.

"He's been planning this all along," Adam hissed.

"Take these children out of here, Device," he said, "i've had enough of their lies."

Anathema licked her lips, and the sharpest, most murderous glare formed on her face. "Don't you /dare/ insult these children." She wiped the shreds of paper into her hands. "/Don't you dare/! They are not lying, and you know it! I only wish i'd believed them sooner!" She turned to the teens, and her eyes softened. "You all had 'im pegged right from the start, didn't you?" She grabbed her hat from the desk, and rested her hand along their backs. "Come on." Before they moved, she whipped back around, and the glare reformed. "And take the house! Go 'head! I have everything I need right here!"

Before she could say anything or move any further, the door to the side of the room slammed open, and everyone whipped towards the noise.

There, in the doorway, stood a woman, of normal height. Her hair was short, not even touching Her shoulder blades, let alone the collar of the suit She wore. She leant on a cane, looking over the room with sky blue eyes.

"She has you there, Luci," the woman said, and, along with the rest of Her, the aura She gave out, the feeling coming from Her, and Her voice, were all so...ineffable.

Lucifer pushed himself off the chair. "...Mother? What on Earth are you doing here?"

"A little…" Her eyes glanced over at Ashtoreth's cane, and winked at it, one of the painted eyes seeming to wink back before She turned back around, "/bird/ told me, that you've been trying to cheat Miss Device and Mr Pulsifer out of their shares in this bank."

"That he has," Aziraphale said, voice filled with respect. "We heard him."

"I also hear...you've been telling the whole of London that i've gone loony, while the only loony thing i've ever did was trust you to look after this bank!"

"You can't be serious," Lucifer said, "i've nearly doubled the profits of this bank."

"/Yes/, by wringing it out of the customers' pockets. Their trust in us built this bank. You've squandered every last bit of their goodwill. Well, Luci...i'm back and you're out!" She looked over Her shoulder. "Gentlemen, would you show my son to the door, please?"

"Yes ma'am," Hastur and Ligur said, sounding giddy. They each grabbed one side of Lucifer, linking their arms through his to drag him out.

"Get off!" Lucifer yelled, and through them off, backing up into the doorway. He pointed at his mother. "You're not fit to run this bank!"

"We'll see about that!" She yelled at his retreating back as he disappeared around the corner. "I may be circling the drain, but i've got a few steps left in me!"

She glanced at Ashtoreth. \"So, when they tell you that you're finished, and your chance to dance is gone, that's the time to stand, to strike up the band, and tell 'em that you've just begun!"\ She tossed Her cane to Aziraphale.  
\"So, when life's a real pea-souper  
You must choose to be a trooper  
For, your light come with a lifetime guarantee!"\  
She stepped onto Her desk.  
\"As you --!"\  
She did a tap dance move. Then turned around, and jumped into Her chair.  
\"With me!"\

\\\"Went to the bank, rattle and clank, met with the boss, pitch and toss, got lost in the fog, lump on a log --!"\\\ The teens skipped around Her chair.

\"Trip a little!"\ Ashtoreth said.

\"Trip a little!"\ Aziraphale cheered.

\"Trip a little!"\ Newt and Ashtoreth followed.

\\\"Trip a little light fantastic!"\\\

The woman crashed into Her chair.

"So glad to have you back, Miss," Anathema said.

"Oh, thank you, Anathema," She said. "By the way, those shares of yours, perfectly fine! Save 'em for later."

"I'm sorry," she said, leaning forward. "I don't understand."

"I'd like to tell you a little story." She leant back in Her chair. "Once upon a time, there was a man with a wooden leg…" She hummed then shook Her head, glancing at Ashtoreth. "That's not it. It's about a little girl named Anathema. Anathema wanted to give her tuppence to a bird lady...but, after a little persuasion, she decided to give 'em to someone she cared about, someone who was more than family than most of her actual bloodline ever was. George Pulsifer, Newt's father...gave those tuppence to this bank...and told us to guard it well." She nodded. "We did just that. And, after several quite clever investments, if I do say so myself, that tuppence has grown into quite a tidy sum."

"Really?" Anathema asked.

She nodded. "In fact, enough to pay off that loan you took." She leaned forward  
"The house is yours."

The teens gasped, and rushed to give Newt and Anathema a hug.

Crowley, Aziraphale, and God looked at each other, a mutual emotion passing by.


	19. Chapter 19

"What a beautiful day to be going back home," Anathema sighed.

"Look at them lovely cherry blossoms," Agnes sighed.

"They're lovely. Should paint them."

Newt chuckled.

They all came to a stop in front of a familiar gate, which was propped open wider than it had been in months, streamers, balloons, and banners attached.

"What's this?"

"The Spring Fair!" Brian cheered. "It's today, can we go?"

"I don't see why not."

The teens cheered, then ran into the park.

As the family charged into the fairgrounds, Crowley stayed back, watching on from the fence.

Inside, the family checked out the park, gawping at the different attractions and games. The one that, naturally, drew in people's eyes, sat near the middle, where a man sat, one that you would think you had just seen not a second ago and would leave you to wonder if he had a twin, triplet, or anything related to the matter.

/"Life's a balloon that tumbles or rises  
Depending on what is inside  
Fill it with hope  
And playful surprises  
Then, oh, dearie ducks, you're in for a ride  
Look! Inside the balloon  
And, if you hear a tune  
There's nowhere to go, but up!"/

Warlock gasped, childlike wonder naturally drawing her to the balloon stand.

"May we get balloons?" she asked enthusiastically.

/"Choose the secret we know  
Before life makes us grow  
There's nowhere to go but up!"/

"Hello," Anathema said, digging out some change from her pocket, "we would like some of your finest balloons, please."

"That you shall have," the man said, smiling charmingly. "But, choose carefully, my dearie ducks. Many have chosen the wrong balloon. Be sure to choose the one that's right for you."

"Which balloon would you like first, Warlock?"

"Why don't you go first, ma'am?"

"Me? Those days are long behind me. I don't think i've held a balloon since I was a child."

"Then you've forgotten what it's like!"

"To hold a balloon?"

"To be a child! /If your selection feels right  
Then, well, dearie, hold tight  
If you see your reflection your heart will take flight!  
If you pick the right string  
Then your heart will take wing!  
'Cause there's nowhere to go but up!"/

Anathema looked at the balloons, then grabbed the string to a blue balloon.

She looked at it carefully, and slowly let the balloon fly up in front of her face.

She gasped when her feet left the ground.

\"Now I feel like that boy  
With a shiny new toy!  
And there's nowhere to go but up!  
Just one day at the fair has me waltzing on air  
And there's nowhere to go but up!\ Newt, I remember! It's all true! Every impossible thing we imagined with Nanny Ashtoreth! It all happened! \Now my heart is so light, that I think I just might start feeding the birds, and then go fly a kite!  
With your head in a cloud  
Only laughter's aloud!  
And there's nowhere to go but up!"\

On the ground, the five teens and Newt rushed to get their own balloons, soon following after Anathema.

\"We're zigging and zagging  
Our feet never dragging  
We might take a ride to the Moon!  
\All this bobbing and weaving all comes from believing \the magic inside the balloon!"\\\

\"Up here in the blue, it's a marvelous view!  
\Side by side is the best way to fly!"\\\

\"When the clouds make a mess  
Well, I won't make a fuss!   
Better polish the stars."\

\\\"Agnes, better let us!"\\\

\\\"Give a lift to a foe, for you reap what you soe!"\\\

\\\"And there's nowhere to go but up!"\\\

On the ground, Sandalphon and Uriel grabbed balloons of their own.

"I've set sail!" Sandalphon cheered. "Plot a course, Uriel!"

"That I will!" she cheered, as she herself lifted off the ground.

\\\"If your day's up the spout  
Well, there isn't a doubt  
There's nowhere to go but up!  
And, if you don't believe, just hang onto my sleeve  
For, there's nowhere to go, but up!  
As you fly over town, it gets harder to frown  
And we'll all hit the heights if we never look down!"\\\

\"Let the past take a bow, the forever is now!"\

\\\"For there's nowhere to go but up, up!  
There's nowhere to go but up!"\\\

Soon, everyone would land in front of their houses, five teens landing with shrieks of laughter as they took their turn with it.

And the door would slam open with a gust of wind, and they would all know one thing:

Nanny Ashtoreth was gone.

But, don't fret.

Her story -- and theirs -- are FAR from over.

\So, hold on tight to those you love, and maybe soon, from up above, you'll be blessed so keep on looking high! 

For, you're underneath the Lovely London Sky!\


	20. Epilogue

In Soho, a little ways away from them, a street corner bookshop door would slam open in a gust of wind, the closed sign dangling on it for a moment before it slammed back closed, not giving any customer that wished to make a purchase a chance.

A familiar man sighed, stretching back onto a tartan patterned couch, looking in a state of bliss, before a throat cleared.

The leather-clad man peaked a golden eye open, and he smiled warmly at the pastel colored man, who held out a tea cup and saucer. He pushed himself up and took it gratefully as the man sat down across from him in a matching armchair.

"...I feel like we should check on them more," the leather clad man said, leaning back and setting the saucer on his thigh. The pastel man clicked his tongue.

"Crowley, we've been keeping tabs on them for years!"

"Yesssss, angel, but that doesssn't mean that i've been checking up on them in person!"

"Fair point."

They settled back in silence for a moment.

"You can't lie and say you didn't miss them themselves."

"Oh, undoubtedly."

"So. Should we be expecting company this fine evening?"

The bell dinged at the front of the shop.

"You'll find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done! This story took me a lot longer than I thought it would to finish, but that's mainly because I kept getting sidetracked on different things

**Author's Note:**

> Hastur La Vista cracks me up, and I just had to add Ligur La Vida Loca


End file.
